#Only Original Music 365
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#Who Rocks Mics#Og Blatancy#Dj Battle Cat#Nu Shoez Ent#Aftermath Records#Deathrow Records#Only Original Music 365#OOMusic365#OOMusic#SoundCloud
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262/365
#365 days of music#when i first got back into kpop i was like yeah i remember jaejoong i remember his rocker phase#[checks out album] '... so this is a cover right?' I SWEAR I FELT LIKE I KNEW THIS SONG ALREADY#but back in the day i only listened to songs w music videos and rarely checked out full albums so how would i know this#and it just sounded familiar like idk what artist im thinking of but i can imagine another guy's voice idk maybe im just losing it man#but as far as i could find. no its not a cover its an original from him
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EventuallyâŠ
Jenn makes it back to her apartment, Jeffie following close alongside her. After she had ensured everything was locked, she took a hot shower, changed, and finally sat down to review her employment contract.
She read through it twice and signed her name, the contract disappearing back to Vox.
Jenn grabbed the book she had abandoned before everything and read while Jeffie slept next to her on the couch.
@helluvahotelfan
Vox pauses what he's doing as the employment contract appears in front of him. He sits back in his chair, mulling over whether to file it or amend it. On the one hand, just because other things had changed didn't mean Jenn necessarily wanted a change to her job. She enjoyed working with the R&D teams. She could probably head up one of her own at this point.
His gaze went to the screen bank in front of him, at all the video feeds and logs he'd been reviewing, and all the ones he still had to check.
Setting aside the signed copy, Vox drafted a new contract to function as an addendum. The original would still be valid, of course. However, he thought she might sign this one- or at least get a chuckle out of it.
VoxTekâą Dating Agreement
I, @helluvahotelfan , invoke the infernal powers of Hell to complete the following agreement between myself and the Overlord, Vox. Hereafter, "the girlfriend" will refer to Jenn, "the boyfriend" will refer to Vox, and "the contract" will refer to this agreement, signed and sealed by a kiss.
Payment: to complete this contract, the girlfriend and the boyfriend pledge loyalty to each other and trust in each other. For as long as both parties agree, the terms and conditions of this contract are considered valid. Additionally, neither party can cause physical harm to the other while this contract is in effect without explicit and enthusiastic consent.
Terms: the boyfriend and the girlfriend agree to a mutually supportive relationship. Each party is responsible for vocalizing their needs and wants, to be fulfilled by the other to the best of their ability. Expected activities include but are not limited to: hand holding, kissing, hugging, cuddling, hanging out, watching TV or movies, listening to music, going out to eat, going dancing, and sharing meals. Surprises are authorized but only within reasonable levels of consent.
Conditions: This contract remains in effect provided both the girlfriend and the boyfriend wish to continue adhering to the terms. At any time, either party may request breaking the contract. The request must be accepted by the boyfriend.
Ground Rules: Date Nights are Thursday nights. This section to be amended as necessary.
Options: the girlfriend may, at any time, request to move into the boyfriend's condo. The girlfriend may, at any time, request a direct promotion to personal assistant to the boyfriend, in the hopes they can stop each other from becoming workaholics. Both parties may, at any time, request acts of affection to be fulfilled by the other when appropriate.
Hours: 24/7/365. April 29th will hereafter be reserved as a day to vent all lingering annoyance via pillow fight.
Signed and confirmed via kiss with the boyfriend,
Vox chuckles, nodding and throwing the contract at the nearest screen, where it digitized itself and hurried to Jenn, popping out of her phone in the same cool blue envelope as the first one.
He grabs his coffee cup and takes a sip. "I'm fuckin' hilarious."
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"Till Death, What's Left"
CHAPTER 1
Tomura & Dabi x Female Reader
word count:Â 23,000+
part 1 * part 2 * part 3 * ...
(A quirkless AU where after fleeing a treacherous incident, you find yourself caught up in the company of two strangers who also seem to have just narrowly escaped their own horrors. Unexpected events keep the three of you crossing paths. Maybe itâs twisted coincidence. Maybe itâs fate. And maybe, just maybe, the three of you could make the perfect trio to perform a string of robberies with payouts high enough to change your lives forever.)
disclaimer/content warning:Â 18+ content! minors dni! concept inspired by the music video for â365 Freshâ by triple h, title taken from the lyrics, drug mention, drinking, sexual harassment/assault, violence, blood/gore, suicidal thoughts/actions, angst and trauma, jealousy, love triangle, the songs mentioned in this fic are "Audi A4" by MISSIO and "Johnny Wants To Fight" by badflower.
*i'm reposting this fic in hopes that it reaches a wider audience this time given it originally went up back when i was sh*dowb*nned. also because chapter two will be coming out soon and i'll be putting in a lot more consistent work into it throughout this year.
*ao3 mirror*
***
The alleyway was narrow, cluttered with stray trash cans and empty produce crates and abandoned pieces of furniture that were littered with holes, serving as a metropolis for the vermin that scampered through the dirty, downtown streets.
The clouds covered the moon, another storm likely on its way based on the warnings grumbling from the distant, low rumble of thunder, the air thick with the humidity of the summer season. Suffocating, almost. Each breath taken was labored, the acrid tastes emanating from the city laying heavy on oneâs tongue.
And, as painful as it was to draw in air under normal circumstances amidst this kind of weather, Dabi was running, his lungs burning every time he forced them to suck down more oxygen. His spiky black hair stuck to his forehead and back of his neck with a layer of building sweat, his old black boots nearly falling apart at the soles, brittle laces threatening to snap every time he got lucky enough to tie them up again.
He moved quickly through the obstacles of the alley, swiftlyâ like the stray cats that were spooked back into hiding with the sound of his fast falling footsteps coming nearâ but not nearly quick enough.
From behind him, the shouts were always right on his tail.
At the most, their angry voices were only ever the turn of a single corner away, at the least, close enough to grab his beat up old black denim jacket and yank him to the ground by the tattered collar.
If he could get to the abandoned apartment complexes further into the slums, he could lose his pursuers, weave his way through the crumbling buildings, his long, thin limbs slithering smoothly like snakes through the maze of gaps and holes that he knew so wellâ almost as if they were merely the halls of his childhood home.
Dabi wasnât accustomed to getting caught. In fact, heâd only ever been sighted twice before, back when heâd first taken to this life after running away at the age of sixteen from the city that now loomed in the foggy distance. The beatings heâd sustained from the rival gangs back then, the near death experience of having his head kicked in by men twice his size and strength paired with the metallic taste of blood running down his throat had taught him to abide by one simple rule.
Donât steal from someone you canât outrun.
And Dabi was fast. Always had been, whether it be by wit or physical speed. But tonight, after enduring the beginnings of withdrawal from his beloved painkillers, his vision starting to sway, setting his balance off just enough, he wasnât on his usual game.
The real kicker of it all is that he could see them come into viewâ the silhouette of the rundown, deserted apartments only a block or two awayâ just before his next step found a deep puddle and his feet slid out from under him, body slamming into the brick wall of the connecting alley before the back of his head smacked down on the grimy, cracked asphalt with a sickening thud.
It took his chasers four more strides to catch up, jumping on him immediately and snatching back the cash heâd swiped before beginning the thirdâ and possibly finalâ beating that Dabi had ever experienced on these harsh streets.
His pale, tattoo covered skin was split with streaks of red, bruises blossoming in deep blue and violet shades across his face and body with every punch, every kick, every deadly impact from the gang as they told himâ promised himâ that they were going to kill him for this. The blood mixed with the sweat and ran in rivulets down his face, his teeth grit so hard with the pain that he feared they might crack.
But Dabi didnât beg for mercy, didnât even ask them to stop once.
He hadnât the first time heâd been in this situation, or the second time, and now, he almost couldnât help but laugh after his enemies left him to die lying in that alley.
They shouldâve killed me, he thought through his sinister hysteria. They shouldâve fucking killed me.
Because pain wasnât something that Dabi feared.
Pain was like an old friend.
When he knew it was comingâ and even when the visit was unexpectedâ Dabi welcomed the pain.
Because the pain meant he was still alive, even if just out of spite.
But he needed to get more of his pills.Â
The pills werenât the farewell to his old friend, pain.
The pills were an âIâll see you soon.â
He liked the painkillers at night, when he was trying to sleep. Couldnât sleep without them these days. But after a big break a few weeks back, Dabi had found himself with some extra time on his hands. More time to kill. More time to sleep.
So his nighttime hobby bled into the day, accompanied him through his afternoons and mingled with his lonely evenings.
Before he knew it, heâd found himself in a full blown love affair with the little white pills. His cruel, addictive mistress.
And he needed more.
He desperately needed more.
Heâd do anythingâ had risked his life once already that nightâ and showed no signs of stopping.
After a while, he sat up with a groan of suffering, clutching his side where he was sure at least two of his ribs were broken, and braced himself against the cold brick wall of the alley to get back on his own two feet.
He had a bloody nose, a split lip, several other cuts and bruises marking his person, one of the more notable ones being a black welt under one of his eyes, the sclera dyed with red where a blood vessel had burst, contrasting starkly against his cobalt blue irises.
Dabi had already looked like hell on a good day and nowâŠ
Well, at least he still had his boots, even if they were falling apart.
So he kept moving, preparing to chase the next opportunity for cash.
Because he needed this tonight.
Heâd lose his goodman mind if he saw the sun come up and his limbs were still shaking and his blood felt icy hot in his veins.
He was only a few blocks away from the nightlife district. Could practically see the red neon and blinking lights from where he staggered in the darkness.
So he started walkingâ limping, more accuratelyâ trying not to scrape one aching foot on the pavement behind him where one of the bastards had tried to snap his ankle, and slipped into a shitty looking bar where the light was low enough that the other patrons hopefully couldnât see his severe state of appearance.
âHello, ladies,â Dabi began smoothly after clearing some thick, blood infused salvia from his throat, slinking towards the main bar where he saw two lone women drinking with one empty seat between them. He slipped onto the vacant stool and draped his arms over both their shoulders, limbs heavy with fatigue and radiating heat from the fading adrenaline.
They gave him varying glares of disinterest and disgust, but Dabi didnât mind that.
It wasnât the girls he was after tonight, anyway.
It was the set of shiny car keys that were placed oh so naively on the counter next to one of the women, the black and silver of the key fob taunting him, begging to be swung around his long, boney, tattoo covered fingers, tossed up into the air, caught, and pocketed as he strolled out of the bar and towards his new ride.
That oughta sell for enough cash to fund his drugs.
âI couldnât help but notice that you both seem to be alone tonightâŠâ Dabiâs lithe grasp inched closer towards the keys, slow and steady so as to not raise suspicions, yet it was killing him inside not to just snatch them and run. If not for the recent beating, he wouldâve. âMight I interest you in my company?â
âWeâre good, thanks,â one of the women shot back as she aggressively shrugged Dabiâs arm off her shoulders.
âAwww, câmoooonâŠâ Dabi cooed condescendingly, eyebrows pulled together and lifted with faked disappointment. âDonât be like that.â His fingers were nearly at the keys now. Just a few more inches and thenâŠ
âDude, are you deaf?â the other asked rhetorically, also irritated at the unwelcome advances. âWeâre not interested. Now get lost.â
AndâŠ
Just a little closerâŠ
A liiiiiiittle closerâŠ
Bingo.
âAlright, alrightâŠâ Dabi stood from the barstool, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets and beginning to step away. âJust tryna be a gentleman, jeezâŠâ And then, just as heâd played out in his fantasy, as he exited the bar and stepped back into the city streets, he twirled the keys around one finger, tossed them into the air, caught them, and headed towards the car whose headlights blinked from down the block as the unlock button from the keys was sensed.
âDumb bitch,â he chuckled under his breath as he turned the keys in the ignition, hearing the engine start up as the radio turned on, pulling out of the poor excuse for a parallel parking job and speeding off back towards his part of town.
As the high of his success coursed through his veins, he caught onto what song was playing and cranked up the volume, the windows shaking with the bass as âAudi A4â by MISSIO blared through his stolen car.
âI know youâre watchinâ!â he called out with the loud song, approaching an intersection where the light had just turned yellow, pressing down harder on the gas pedal. âMy A-Teamâs rockinâ!â There was another vehicle approaching from the adjacent lane, their light soon to turn green. âAnd Iâm not stoppinâ!â He ran the red light as he sung along, laughing to himself when the other car slammed on their brakes and held down their horn at him. âOne! Two! Three! Four!â
And with that, Dabi had officially crossed back into his part of town.
***
You were just closing up for the night, working the late shift at the privately owned salon and barber shop that youâd gotten a job at by a friend of a friend.
You fucking hated this place.
It always smelled like mold, especially after it rained, and the owner always gave you the jobs no one else wanted to do on top of the job youâd been hired to do, which had originally been to cut hair.
No, your misogynistic, ugly bastard of a boss didnât even try to hide it. He made it plain as day what his real intentions were in hiring you.
You gotta get into all the cracks and crevices, heâd remind you with a sleazy smirk, watching you with hungry eyes as you got down on your hands and knees to scrub the floor. If you donât do it this way, itâll never get clean.
He complained about having to come in to âcheck on youâ all the time, yet always found it in his âbusy scheduleâ to watch you do something as degrading as scrubbing in between the mildew ridden linoleum with a toothbrush. Always had something to say about what you wore to work, no matter what it was, and had even slapped you on the ass a few times before as a âjokeâ.
Too bad you needed this job. Wouldnât survive without it. Not unless you wanted to go work at the cheapest strip club in the red light district just to pay for some microwavable meals and barely scrape by on rent.
Yeah, you fucking hated this place. You often spent your time daydreaming about burning it down as you snipped the dead ends off of peopleâs hair, fantasizing about slitting your bossâs throat with a pair of scissors or straight razor as he hovered nearby and watched you blow dry and style your clientsâ new looks.
But tonight, just about ready to walk out of this shithole that you still couldnât believe anyone came back to, let alone could find in its hole in the wall location, you let out an exasperated sigh when you heard the cheap, rust-rotted bellsâ one of which was brokenâ jingle above the front door.
âWeâre closed!â you called as you folded the last cloth poncho up and tossed it over one of the chairs. Then just to yourself you mumbled, âGod, canât anyone read the signâŠâ
But then you sucked in a gasp at the sight of the large, lumpy silhouette that belonged to your boss standing in the entrance to the salon, clutching your heart as he startled you.
âIâm just closing up,â you began as you caught your breath, wanting to get out of here even more now. âWhat? You forget something?â
âNo,â your boss stated sternly as he stepped further into the salon and closer to you, you instinctively taking a step back towards the sinks. âYou have one final customer.â He sat down in one of the three chairs and you felt your stomach sink.
This motherfucker.
âWell, are you gonna do your job or are you only good for sweeping and scrubbing floors?!â he snapped, shaking you from your creeping dread.
You grabbed your scissors and comb, trying to steady your shaking hands as you draped the poncho over him.
He was watching you from the mirror, beady eyes glued to the little bit of cleavage that showed from your button up shirt, only ever drifting to find your thighs that were exposed below your jean skirt.
Fucking pervert, you cursed him with distain, snipping away at his greasy, thinning hair as your rage began to boil.
âOh, and I want a shave too, alright, sweetheart?â he added, mocking tone proving that he knew he was getting under your skin and enjoying every second of it.
Once you were done with his hair you grabbed the straight razor and shaving cream, trying to remain expressionless as you slathered his face with the white foam, refusing to meet the predatory gaze that he kept trained on you while you worked.
âYou better not cut me,â he threatened with a leer, flashing the gaps in between his crooked, discolored teeth, some of which were missing entirely. You opened the straight razor, the metal gleaming sinisterly under the fluorescent lights. âIf you doâŠâ His hand found your thigh, sliding up to squeeze your ass over your skirt, making you flinch and grit your teeth, jaw flexing in venomous vexation. âYouâre not gonna like the consequences.â
Yeah, well youâre not the one with a razor to my neck, motherfucker, you thought with burning malice.
You could see it so clearly, practically feel it as you sliced the blade across his fat neck, skin parting like a hot knife through butter as dark, dangerous red spilled out and drenched his pit-stained polo with gore.
You were sure that no one would miss him.
In the very least, you and your co-workersâ the few of them that you hadâ would be free from his fucked up definition of flirting.
But what would you do with the body?
Surely you couldnât lift him on your own and youâd probably expend more energy than you currently had available to drag him into the alley out back.
And what about the blood?
You could try to mop it up butâŠ
âWhatâs the problem, hon?â he asked in that patronizing way you fucking hated when he noticed you hesitating. His hand began to worm its way up under your skirt, a few of his rough, thick fingers sliding under the waistband of your panties at your hip. âI hope you donât take this long with regular customers.â
Your grip tightened around the straight razor, face scrunching up in disgust and discomfort.
âHey!â he snapped when you didnât give a reply, his grip tightening on you as well, making you hiss through clenched teeth and finally shoot your gaze down to meet his. His sharpness softened then, as if heâd won something, another revolting smirk spreading across his thin lips. âDo a good job and Iâll make sure and give you an extra good tip, ok?â
You let out a slow, only slightly shaky exhale, and then, with the blade pressed to his neck, you began to drag the razor along his stubbly skin, careful not to nick him.
He took his hand off youâ for now, at leastâ but that did nothing to ease the fury that was expanding in your chest.
Itâd be so easy, the idea whispered ominously. Heâs in no position to run, no position to fight back. You have him exactly where you want him. Exactly where you need him.
Like a hot knife through butter.
Once you were done, using a warm towel to dab off the remaining shaving cream, your boss rolled himself from the chair with a grunt and went to inspect your work up close in one of the many mirrors.
âNot baaaaaadâŠâ he praised in a rough, sing-songy tone, again making a lump of anxiety settle in your throat. You tried to swallow it down before youâd have to speak to him again, if he found a way to get another response out of you.
He turned to face you as you refolded the poncho and tossed it back over the chair, huffing out a breath of annoyance.
But just before you could turn around to hurry past him down the short hallway and exit the shop, one of his big hands found your shoulder, startling you yet again. âNowâŠâ Your eyes went wide with terror as his expression morphed into something violent, something that spelled more than just unwarranted touching or sexist remarks. âHow about I give you that tip I promised, hm?â
He was pressing you against the sink counter before you got the first syllable of your protest out, your hips digging painfully into the edge while his growing erection rubbed up against the back of you.
âStop!â you shouted, fighting to break free. âStop! Let go!â
The straight razor sat open next to the sink.
âCâmon nowâŠâ he growled, pushing into you harder as he tried to hold you still, pressing your chest flat to the counter as you twisted and writhed under his grip. âDonât be difficult. Thatâll just make things harder for the both of us.â
Your blood ran cold, causing you to struggle harder, screaming out loud and shrill.
He slapped a hand over your mouth and you bit into his skin, making him curse and then rake his fingers roughly through your hair, grabbing at the roots and forcefully slamming your head down onto the sink counter, making you body shudder with the pain and then still momentarily from the daze of the impact.
The straight razor still sat open next to the sink, the glint of light off the blade blurring in and out of your spinning vision.
âYou think I keep you around here âcause youâre actually good at cutting hair?â your boss taunted through a short, curt chuckle, undoing his belt as he kept you pinned against the counter. âYeah, guess youâre as dumb as you are pretty, hon.â
You reached out, movements sluggish at first, and grabbed the razor, sliding it towards you.
âMaybe you should work late more often,â he had the audacity to say next, tugging your panties down, the sounds of threads tearing making your heart hammer in your chest with panic and your stomach turn with nausea. âMaybe, if youâre good, Iâll give you a raiseâŠâ
You began to push up from the counter, spine trying to straighten, the razor gripped tight in your trembling first.
But it wasnât fear that was making you shake right now.
No.
Now it was nothing but pure, white hot, blinding rage.
âLittle slut. Always coming to work dressed like a whore. You canât exactly blame me forââ But the next insult was cut short as the deadly end of the straight razor buried itself into the disgusting manâs throat, his sputtering gags filling the space where his words used to be as liquid red ribbons spurted from his jugular.
You yanked the blade from his neck, a spray of red speckling your face and front of your button up shirt as you winced and closed your eyes, more of the gore spilling from his neck from between his fingers as he stumbled back and tried to apply pressure to the wound.
You watched as he tripped over his own feet and almost fell back into the chair heâd just had you shave him in, but missed by a couple feet and instead smacked the back of his head against the metal arm rest before dropping like a bag of rocks to the linoleum floor.
The razor was still in your hand, blood dripping off the end of the blade that reflected the bastardâs final dying breaths.
He gaped at you with wide eyes, reaching out with his free hand and seeming to be attempting to plead, to beg for help or mercy or any of the other things he would never have shown you.
But you werenât a monster like him.
You werenât going to leave your prey to writhe and squirm in agony.
Because you werenât a coward either.
No.
For better or for worse, you were going to finish the job.
Like a hot knife through butter, huh?
Letâs find out.
You approached him slowly, careful to stay out of reach from his grabbing hands that would likely pull you down to the floor by your ankle and try to get the one up on you again in his final moments. When you realized just how weak he was growing from the bloodloss, you straddled his fat body, probably giving him one last hard on before it all came to an end. Because the next thing you did was drive the razor into the base of his neck, right where there wouldâve been a dip in his collar bones if theyâd been visible, repeating the vicious motion until his struggling had finally stilled and he lay there unmoving, his blood covering you both, the light having left his squinting, rodent-like stare.
You stepped off of him then, watching the blood pool around him for a minute or two before the weight of it all came crashing down on you. The straight razor slipped out of your hands, which were trembling in fear now, all prior rage-fueled vengeance gone. And it was the metallic clang of the weapon hitting the floor that finally pulled you back down to earth.
âFuckâŠâ you exhaled through a shaky breath, looking down at the blood that covered your hands, hasilty wiping them on your jean skirt with splotches of red before rushing over to grab all the ponchos youâd just folded, throwing them down and trying to soak up all the blood that was continuing to pour from his person.
âFuck⊠FuckâŠÂ Fuck!â
Thank god it was closing, but still. The night would only last so many hours. Would you have enough of them to get rid of the body and hide the evidence before tomorrow morningâs clients came knocking?
***
There was so much blood. Way more than you thought thereâd be, that was for sure. All the ponchos were ruined with a dark, rusty red. Discarded thoughtlessly in the dumpster out back where youâd painstakingly dragged the body to slump alongside all the trash it belonged with.
Someone would find him. There was no doubt about that.
But by then, youâd be gone. The shop would be clean. Or clean enough to buy you a little more time, at the very least. And youâd most likely have packed the few belongings you had back at your dingy, cramped apartment and skipped town.
You didnât know where you were going but the one thing you did know was that you couldnât stay here.
It had to be nearly two in the morning when you finally stumbled out of the shop, not remembering if you locked up behind you but not giving a shit at this point, hurrying down the short span of alley that would lead you back out onto the hopefully abandoned main streets, when the blinding glare of oncoming headlights stopped you in your tracks, causing you to freeze in the middle of the narrow road where a car was barreling towards you.
If it killed you, at least you wouldnât have to deal with the cops hunting you down.
But it stopped with a jolt and a screech only a few feet before colliding with you, the driver inside slamming back against the headrest with the force before you both just stared at each other through the windshield with wide-eyed, surprised and terrified expressions.
Dabi noticed the blotches of red that were freckled across your white shirt, the smudges of rust on the faded denim of your skirt, saw the bits of blood that had dried in your hair and on your face where you thought youâd wiped the evidence away.
He turned down the blaring music and opened the driverâs side door, stepping out and looking at you for a moment as the headlights continued to cause you to squint and shield your vision with one hand, only able to see the strangerâs silhouetteâ a tall, lanky shadow with spiky, wild hair.
What heâd meant to say was get out of the road, but instead what came out was, âNeed a ride?â
You nodded, trying to gulp down the remnants of the trauma youâd just been through over the past couple of hours.
âThen get in.â
So you did, having no problem listening to this man without hesitationâ well, you had minor hesitation, but stillâ though you supposed that this man hadnât tried to assault and rape you.
If he did, you wouldnât have your straight razor, but now that youâd done it once, you supposed you wouldnât be afraid to kill again.
But he didnât try to put his pale, tattoo covered hands on you. Just glanced down at the blood that stained your hands and asked with a sarcastically curious, âWhat happened?â
âNothingâŠâ you shook your head, trying to hide your hands by sitting on them, feeling the still drying blood sticking to the underside of your thighs, staring out the window and hoping that he would become more distracted by the road than your crime. âYou can just drop me off near the train station.â
The man, who you now noticed had tattoos not just on his hands but pretty much everywhereâ the ink trailing up his wrists and arms, his neck, even some migrating under his eyesâ along with cuts and bruises of his own, and bright, clear, damn near entrancing blue eyes simply put the car into drive and continued down the narrow side street towards where youâd directed him.
***
Tomura Shigaraki had tried to kill himself numerous times before.
Heâd tried suffocation, drowning, pills, leaning off the edge of a bridge and peering down at the drop that was sure to end him the moment his body hit the concrete.
Heâd triedâ and succeededâ at taking his own life numerous times before in the safety of his own mind. Took comfort in imagining his lifeless body lying still, undisturbed on a sidewalk somewhere or, better yet, in the comfort and familiarity of his own home.
And, a few times, heâd tied a plastic bag tight around his head and breathed until all the air was sucked out only to then panic and then tear it open, taking in big gulps of air and coughing out his impulsive stupidity.
Heâd gotten into an overflowing bathtub completely clothed and submerged himself beneath the surface, tried to hold himself at the bottom until his body began to convulse and his chest tightened in pain, only to then break through the surface and yield the same result as when heâd failed previously.
But tonight, Tomura had found a fool proof plan.
There was always traffic downtown, especially on the weekend when the bars and clubs and general nightlife scene was at its most concentrated.
So as he walked along the sidewalk in his beat up old red converse, one of the laces untied and threatening to trip him with every step, he tried to imagine which one would take his life.
Would it be a standard yellow taxi cab? A family SUV?
Or maybe it would be a nice, expensive, spotless sports car.
Maybe it would be red or black orâ better yetâ white. That way his blood would show up bright against the hood.
Yeah, a white ferrari might be nice, Tomura thought with morbid glee.
But as he stood at the crosswalk, the glowing street sign above his head blinking with the WALK symbol of the little minimalistic figure taking a step forward, he found the one that he really wanted.
It wasnât a ferrari, but it was white. A Mercedes-Maybach S Class with silver detailing.
And it was going fast.
Even after the light turned to yellow, the speeding car showed no signs of slowing.
Perfect, Tomura thought, bracing himself to step out in front of it at just the right moment.
The street was empty, aside from him and the car, the late hours of the night proving to be a little less optimal for his death than he wouldâve originally liked, but if this was it then so be it. Tomura was ready to die.Â
He was ready to not have anything around to stop him this time.
So he did it.
He jumped in front of the speeding car, his body slamming into the hood just as Dabi slammed on the brakes and skid to a halt for the second time that nightâ the second time that hourâ nearly killing another complete stranger.
Tomuraâs body flung back and rolled out into the middle of the street, laying motionless under the glow of the red light.
âWhat the fuck?!â Dabi shouted as he stepped out of the car, trying to assess the damage but not stray too far as he was still seriously considering just driving off. But heâd already stolen a car. He didnât exactly want to add hit and run to his list of crimes for the night, though itâs not like it wouldâve been the first time. âAre you fucking kidding me?!â
âShould we help him?!â You were getting out of the car now, unsure of whether you should approach, seeming to be pulled towards the body and the car back and forth by an invisible line as you nervously shuffled on your feet. âGod, what do we do?!â
âHe threw himself in front of me!â Dabi snapped defensively, as if you hadnât been sitting right next to him and seen the whole thing. âFucking idiot! GodâŠâ
âWell, is he dead orâŠ?â You now started towards the body as Dabi scanned the area, pulling on his hair with stress and frustration. No one was around but that didnât mean the accident hadnât been seen.
The scrawny stranger who lay in a heap of black clothing and shaggy, silvery hair wasnât moving, but still, you couldnât help but hold out hope.
âH-hello?â you asked once you were close enough that, if he was alive, he might be able to hear you. You knelt down to his level, leaning over him now, trembling hands hovering above his body like you were afraid even the gentlest of touches would shatter him, cause him to disintegrate to dust.
But then the young man groaned and flopped over onto his back, blinking bleary, scarlet eyes up at you. He had tired eyes, dark circles etched in deep, and a scar that ran over one side of his chapped lips.
âOh my god!â you exclaimed as the silver-haired stranger mumbled quiet, incoherent things under his breath. âHey! Hey, heâs alive!â you called back towards the tattooed man whoâd nearly killed you not long ago. âHeâs alive!â
Dabi remained by the car, his body leaning against the inside of the open driverâs door with one foot perched on the floor mat, halfway to just abandoning the both of you here and saving his own ass. âAre you fucking kidding meâŠ?â he asked again, though this time mainly to himself.
âHey, can you hear me?â you asked the person laying on the road in front of you. âAre you ok?â
As Tomuraâs vision began to refocus, his voice began to return to him too. As far as he could tell, he was mostly uninjured. His entire body felt like it was just run over by a truckâ or, well, actually, it was a Mercedes-Mayback S Classâ but other than the constant aching soreness that made it hard for him to move, he was otherwise alive.
UnlessâŠ
âAre youâŠâ Tomura began. You leaned in closer to hear him better, his voice a raspy ghost of a whisper. âAre you an angel?â
When you smiled at him then, just a tiny, slightly amused yet relieved grin, Tomuraâs eyes rolled back into his head and he let out an exhausted sigh. Or, well, perhaps he too should be holding out hope. Because if you really were an angel that meant that heâd finally succeeded in killing himself.
âCan you stand?â you asked him next. In response, Tomura tried to roll back over onto his side and push himself off the ground. Your hands tried to guide him, to steady his body until he was on his own two feet and had an arm slung over your shoulders while you helped him limp towards the car.
âHey!â Dabi shouted angrily as the two of you approached. âNo! Leave him on the fucking curb! I ainât chauffeuring another person around!â
âHeâs hurt!â you called back in protest, staring up at Dabi with a plea for mercy. âWe canât just leave him!â
âListen. I said Iâd drop you off,â Dabi sneered, glancing at the staggering stranger with revulsion. âNot you and some random guy who was dumb enough to step out into oncoming traffic!â
âHey, where do you live?â you asked Tomura, who still seemed to be caught in a daze, his weight becoming a little heavier on you as his body began to slump. When he didnât respond, you just looked back to Dabi and said, âJust drop him off with me. Iâll figure the rest out.â
Dabi stared at you both then, battling with himself on whether you were worth the trouble or notâ as if youâd ever been worth the troubleâ then gave a begrudging sigh, telling you to hurry up and get back in the car.
You opened the door to the backseat and helped Tomura slide in before running around and reclaiming your seat on the passengerâs side, Dabi taking off before youâd even finished closing your door and speeding recklessly down the darkened night streets once again, clearly not having learned his lesson the first timeâ or the second, for that matter.
You kept watch on the man in the backseat from the rearview mirror, who just had his head lazily rested against the seat, slouching down and not bothering to put a seatbelt on as he stared out the window with utter defeat. If it werenât for the steady rise and fall of his chest, there were a few times you wouldâve thought him to be dead with how still he was sitting.
âHeyâŠâ you addressed him. He just shifted his crimson gaze to meet yours in the mirror. âWhatâs your name?â
He averted his eyes again, staring back out the window at the ghost town rushing by outside. âItâs TomuraâŠâ he finally answered after a long, labored breath.
You introduced yourself in return, only getting a simple, barely detectable nod in response.
âAnd what about you?â you then asked the driver whose jaw was still clenched, back teeth grinding in agitation from the recent events.
âWho gives a shitâŠâ he answered rudely, narrowing his gaze at the road before him, running another red light.
âWhatever,â you rolled your eyes. You didnât particularly care either, you supposed.
âAh, shitâŠâ Dabi then said as he noticed the gas meter running empty. You were about to ask him what was wrong, but then he continued with, âWho the fuck goes out with their tank this low?âÂ
While he was throwing a fit over the dwindling fuel, you were starting to recognize the area, only a few more blocks till your apartment complex, but you didnât say anything as you could feel the driverâs stress filling the atmosphere of the car. And, with this guy, you felt like a simple statement of âhey, my turn is coming upâ would be more than enough to set him off right now.
Dabi cut down another side street where he knew a gas station wasnât far. It was just outside the city, which youâd already been on the outskirts of, but Dabi wouldnât be able to pawn the thing off if it stopped rolling the moment he parked it in the shady, underground garage of the illegal stolen car salesman he knew, so he had no choice.
And god he needed his pills.
He needed the cash first though, and to get the cash he needed the car.
Fucking million step process just to get some fucking painkillers, he thought bitterly.
But he could complain and grumble all he wanted.
In the end, heâd do whatever it took, just like always.
âStay in the car,â heâd said in a way that sounded nonchalant, but you knew was an order, slamming the door shut before you could answer and going over to fill the tank.
You looked back at Tomura, who was still gazing out the window in a daze. You couldnât help but stare at him, tracing the lines of his scars with your eyes, following the way his wavy hair framed his face and the cool light of the street lamps illuminated his pale skin, making his scarlette eyes glow even brighter. A vibrant contrast against all the monochromatic shades that otherwise painted his person.
âHeyâŠâ you began, speaking softer that time, as if trying to soothe him. âWhy did you do that?â
He didnât respond at first, the only indication that heâd heard you being the slight widening of his eyes, the expression reading as if something dire had just occurred to him before dissipating back to exhaustion.Â
âDo what?â he asked with a bored, tired drone.
âTry to kill yourself?â
Tomura looked at you now, only his eyes moving as if the rest of his body couldnât be bothered. But he couldnât hold your gaze for very long, the intensity of your sincerity killing him in a way heâd never considered.
âDunnoâŠâ he lied, giving an awkward half shrug, wincing in pain halfway through and gripping his shoulder with one hand.
âWell it was a stupid thing to do,â you scolded him lightly, causing him to shoot you another one of those feral, wide-eyed glares, head turning a little more this time.
âYeah, and what would you know about it?â he challenged with a scowl, raspy voice a little more sharp now. A little more dangerous.
âI know that if it were me, I wouldnât try to drag someone else into it. Especially not complete strangers,â you answered, now wearing a scowl of your own.
But you werenât actually mad at him, per se.
The way you saw it, even though you hadnât been the one driving, you still wouldâve felt responsible if youâd just left him there alone in the street.Â
Besides, youâd already taken a life that night and one was more than enough for you.
So you werenât mad at him. Just concerned.
Because, maybe, at one point or another youâd been just like Tomura. And, possibly sometime in the very near future, youâd be more than willing to throw yourself into oncoming traffic or off a building or bridge or, in the very least, swallow a bunch of pills just to make it all stop.
Because the sight of all that bloodâ the smell of it, acidic copper mixed with the chemical burning of the bleach stinging your noseâ and the sheer fact that, despite the circumstances, you were indeed a murderer as of a few hours ago, wellâŠ
The full weight of that was sure to settle over you eventually and, when it did, it just might be too much to bear.
âWhateverâŠâ Tomura puffed out through an exhale of annoyance, looking away from you and back out the window.
Only, Tomura actually did want to answer you. He just didnât have the right words at the moment to explain it allâ that sinking, empty emotion that comes with feeling like youâre completely alone in the world, of having nothing and no one.Â
Though, a few seconds later, he perked up in the backseat, noticing something amiss as his skittish crimson gaze scanned the scene outside the window.
âHeyâŠâ he said, causing you to glance over your shoulder. âWhereâd that guy go?â
***
Dabi walked into the gas stationâs convenience store with his hood up, his head down, and his hands shoved into his pockets.
First, he pretended to browse the chip aisle, strolling slowly as he read over all the brand names. Out of the corner of his gaze, he noticed a security camera. He wondered if it was actually on.
The cashier leaned over the counter and scrolled mindlessly on his phone, used to only a few sporadic customers coming in during the graveyard shift. He hadnât even glanced towards Dabi when heâd entered, probably wouldnât have cared even if heâd seen all the tattoos that covered his pale skin, that ran down his arms and up his chest and neck and face.
Maybe he wouldnât care if Dabi tried to rob the place, if he took all the cash in the register and ran off either.
Because Dabi was even more shit out of luck than he had been at the start of the night.
Heâd lost that bundle of cash heâd stolen when those guys had caught and beaten him in the alley and the gas station console wouldnât let him fill his car until he had proof of payment first.
Well, here goes nothing, Dabi thought as he sighed and marched up to the register.
The kid was still scrolling through his phone and it was only when Dabi aggressively cleared his throat did he glance up, face going white when he registered the man standing before him.
âUh⊠Can Iââ the kid began, but was cut off as Dabi began one of his most ambitious bluffs in a long time.
âOpen the register,â he ordered with a growl, voice quiet but stern, pushing one of the fists that were shoved in his pocket closer to the kid, pretending to conceal a gun. âAnd hurry it up.â
The cashier didnât hesitate. He fumbled with the drawer and laid its entire contents out on the counter for Dabi to take, backing up and knocking down some of the cigarettes from where they were placed behind the counter while the tattooed thief stuffed the cash into his pockets.
When Dabi was done, he just nodded at the kid and said, âOh, and gimme one a those,â eying one of the packs of marlboros that now lay scattered behind the counter. The cashier tossed him a pack with a shaky hand and then Dabi left, rushing towards the gas console, feeding in the bills, filling the tank, and then yanking the pump out the moment he heard it click, not bothering to place it back in its holder before jumping in the car and speeding away with a screech, both you and Tomura staring at him with wide-eyes, hands gripping the safety bars above the window as your bodies were jostled around with every veering turn.
âUh⊠What haââ you tried to ask.
âDonâtâŠâ Dabi snapped, making both you and Tomura flinch. âAsk.â
So you didnât. You remained silent for the rest of the drive aside from directing Dabi where to turn once you reentered the part of town you recognized. When you told him here was fine, he pulled over to the curb. âUm⊠Thank yââ
âGet out.â Dabi cut you off. He wouldnât even look at you. You hesitated for a moment, once again wishing that you at least knew this mysterious manâs name despite how heâd treated you, then opened the door to exit. âAnd you,â Dabi glared at Tomura from the backseat, the silver-haired suicidal a little more alert now. âI ainât drivinâ you around anymore either. Get out.â
Once Tomura was standing beside you on the sidewalk, Dabi just turned the music back up until it was so loud you could hear âJohnny Wants To Fightâ by Badflower in a muffled blast from inside of the car and sped off again, feeling more on edge by the minute and needing to get the stolen car to his contact before the police had a chance to find him first.
And then it was just you and Tomura left in a perplexed daze in the middle of the night a few blocks from your apartment, everything that had happened up until this point feeling like some strange fever dream that you still hadnât fully woken up from.
âSo⊠uhâŠâ you began, awkwardly eyeing Tomura who was staring at you like an inquisitive animal. âDo you live around here too orâŠ?â
âI donât live anywhere,â Tomura replied. âNot anymore, at least.â
It had to be three, maybe even close to four AM by now. Tomura looked tired. You were exhausted. Youâd both had the same strange experience and just letting him walk away felt wrong, like you really would wake up tomorrow and forget everything, all the blood and black ink and silver-hair mixing together before fading away entirely.
âDo you⊠want to come in?â you hesitantly invited.
Tomura then seemed to snap out of his dead stare, blinking a few times before answering, âSure.â
***
âThis is itâŠâ you said as you flipped up the switch by the door, the lights flickering a few times before illuminating the cramped studio. Tomura just stood in the doorway for a moment, eyes scanning what little there was to look at before stepping inside. Neither of you really knew what to say now. What to do. When an awkward silence began to fill the space, you asked, âSo, um⊠Can I get you a glass of water orâŠ?â
Tomura then seemed to snap out of whatever daze he was currently in, flinching as he registered that someone was speaking to him and responding with, âOh, yeah, sure.â
As you took a hastily washed glass out of the sink where youâd left it this morning and filled it from the lukewarm tap, you kept an eye on your guest out of the corner of your vision and rinsed the dried blood from your hands.
He was standing in the middle of the room, honing in on specific details like what books you had scattered across the tiny, uneven coffee table youâd picked up for free from the curbside when youâd first moved here. He studied the dying houseplants that drooped by the fingerprint smudged windows, their leaves and vines having given up on reaching towards the sun long ago. But, one thing he noticed above all else was the single photo you kept on your scuffed up bedside table.
âWho are they?â he asked when you came over to hand him his drink. He took the glass carefully in his hands, as if he feared he might break it.
You took a seat on the end of your bed with your own glass of water, sipping at it as you glanced at the photo. âMy family,â you admitted, though wore a sad expression where he wouldâve expected one that was a little more, wellâŠ
Actually, he didnât exactly have the fondest memories of his family either.
You thought he might ask you what happened to them, if they lived nearby or if you guys were close, but he didnât. Instead, he just nodded like he understood and then sipped at his drink while standing a few feet across from you, both of you looking at each other and waiting for the other person to say something else.
You wondered just how long heâd been alone. How long heâd had to endure silence before almost getting killedâ then saved, if you could call it thatâ by you and that tattooed guy in the middle of the street tonight. You almost asked. Wouldâve, if not for him speaking first.
âWhy did you let me in?â he asked, intentions unreadable in both his face and tone.
âShould I not have?â you inquired. Instinctively you reminded yourself where youâd hidden weapons throughout your apartmentâ a letter opener in the nightstand drawer, pocket knife underneath one of the couch cushions, multi-tool behind the vase near the front doorâ just in case things took a turn. Tomura just continued to stare at you, his gaze curious, as if he found you just as odd yet enticing as you found him. âI meanâŠâ you then recovered, âYou said you had nowhere to go, right?â
He nodded, bringing the glass to his lips but pausing before taking the next sip, saying, âDid you know the guy in the car?â
âNot until just before we ran into you,â you admitted.
Then Tomura asked âDid he do that to you?â nodding at all the blood on your clothes. You realized that maybe it wasnât necessarily you he kept staring at with wild eyes, but all the evidence instead.
Youâd already nearly forgotten about it.
âOhâŠâ you exhaled, plucking at your button up shirt and noticing that the bright red had gone rusty now. There was no way those stains were coming out. Youâd have to throw your clothes away or, probably a better idea, burn them. âNo, he didnât. That wasâŠâ
But you couldnât finish the sentence. Not even with an insult at your former boss. You just wanted to forget any of it had ever happened.
Tomura then sat on the end of your bed next to you, staring at where the beat up old sofa was pushed up against the wall and gulping down the rest of his water. It was then your turn to study him, decode his appearance as if that would answer all your unasked questions. But, unlike you, his situation was a lot harder to read. He kept it carefully concealed under long black sleeves and faded black jeans, shaggy tufts of hair falling in front of his eyes and hiding parts of his face from you.
Though, there was one thing you hadnât noticed before, when the only light youâd had to view him by was the dim glow of passing streetlamps or traffic lights. His skin wasnât just scarred, it was scratched, dry and patchy around his eyes and forehead, eyebrows sparse and chunks of his eyelashes missing as if heâd rubbed them off.
Instinctively, you raised a hand to touch him, wanting to care for whatever condition he hadâ wanting to understand it better so you could helpâ but when he saw it coming towards him in his peripheral vision he flinched back, grabbing your wrist to stop you.
You both stared at each other with gaping expressions, scared for different reasons.
âIâm sorryââ you went to say, the words caught in a gasp. But Tomura didnât look angry. He didnât look like he was going to hurt you. Instead, he looked at you as if he thought heâd just narrowly protected you from something horrible, like touching him was some kind of curse you might catch. âI didnât meanââ
But then he let you go, giving you back your wrist, which you cradled in your other hand, and looked away from you. âSorryâŠâ he mumbled, vermillion stare stuck to the multicolored shag rug hiding the partially rotting hardwood floors. âItâs just⊠Iâm not used to being touched and IâŠâ
Similar to you, Tomura also had a hard time speaking the things heâd much rather forget.
Then, without thinking you blurted out, as if you had just suddenly decided it needed to be freed from the cage of your body, âI killed someone tonight.â Tomura didnât flinch at that. Just looked back at you with a gaze that either said, âIâm sorryâ or âI understandâ. Maybe both.
And suddenly you had this fear of rejection, like you expected him to lash out and call you crazy, deride you for committing such a heinous act. But instead he just asked you, âDid they deserve it?â
You cracked a nervous smirk, the fever dream you felt like you were floating in becoming all that more unbelievable. âYeahâŠâ you said, a stifled, choking sound that was perhaps the dying embers of a sob catching in your throat. âYeah, he did.â
âWhat are you gonna do?â he asked next. You felt like the scenery around you was beginning to blur, the walls closing in tighter and tighter until theyâd press flat against you and trap you in a cube of claustrophobia.Â
Your eyes began to tear up. âI donât knowâŠâ The heat that was building in the room was beginning to feel suffocating. You buried your face in one of your hands, the other one holding the half empty glass of water starting to tremble. âI donât knowâŠâ The air conditioner had never worked and even your cheap convenience store fan had broken recently. âI really donât knowâŠâ
Tomura was unsure what to say to you, but he was trying to find the words. Any words. Any words at all to convey to you that youâd figure it out. That youâd be alright butâ
But why did he care?
Why did Tomuraâ someone whoâd tried time and time again to end his own life because he was so convinced that nothing was ever going to be alright for him ever againâ care whether you sorted out your problems or dug your own grave?
Because she doesnât deserve that, he figured. She has far more to live for than someone like me.
You were just crying now, your glass of water sitting abandoned on the floor by your feet as you hid your sorrows in both of your palms, body shaking even more as another wave of tremors wracked through your bones, sharp inhales peppered throughout your otherwise silent sadness.
Tomura wished he hadnât stopped you from touching him earlier. He wished heâd allowed you to reach over and run your careful fingertips over his skin, the scars and the dry patches that cracked and split in thin slashes across his face.
Though, maybe, perhaps, if he could reach out and touch you, youâd allow him to try and care for you the way youâd wanted to care for him. As much as one hollow stranger could care for another, that is.
âTheyâre gonna find me,â you muttered, words garbled by the thick coating of saliva clogging the back of your throat. âTheyâre gonna find me and then theyâre gonnaââ
You froze when you felt a handâ Tomuraâs handâ resting on the small of your back, peeking out from your palms as if to confirm that it was actually him that was touching you and you werenât just imagining it. And he was tense at first. Not gentle and comforting like he had a feeling you could be.
But he was trying.
You were making him want to try.
âWhatâŠ?â you eventually asked, Tomuraâs startled stare becoming too intense for you to hold.
He then mumbled something, his voice so quiet you didnât catch it at first. So again, you asked him, âWhat?â and when he repeated himself you realized heâd said, âI want to kiss you.â
You blinked a few times, trying to clear the thin film of tears that still glossed over your eyes, lashes spiked and cheeks streaked with drying salt. Your ears were ringing, and suddenly all you could hear was the buzzing in your head. But you felt your mouth moving, felt the gentle vibration of your vocal chords when you said, âSo kiss me then.â
Tomura leaned in halfway, the hand on your back clutching your shirt in his fist, trying to conceal just how terrified he was of his own desireâ for you and this newfound realization that maybe he did actually want to live, even if only just a little bit. It was overwhelming.
And it was kind of nice, the fact that he wasnât trying to feel you up right from the get go and pin you underneath him like most of your previous one night stands tended to do. So you kissed him, and he kissed you back, but it wasnât romantic or sweet. It was rough and desperate, both of you trying to leave proof on each other that the other person existed, that youâd met, that youâd both almost died that night yet had somehow ended up alive at the end of it all, even if one of you hadnât wanted to.
Tomura had shaky hands. And they were cold, like they had no blood in them, like he really had died back there on the street and was just a walking corpse. They sent a shiver through your body as his fingers brushed against your ribs under your shirt, pushing up until they found the clasp of your bra, fumbling with it absentmindedly as if he wasnât aware of what his fingers were tangled up in.
You reached behind you and undid it for him, both of you breaking the kiss and pausing for a moment, lips still almost touching as you panted into each otherâs mouths and wondered if this was really happening. If you wanted it to happen.
I killed someone, you remembered again. And then I almost watched him get killed.
It was fucked up.
All of it.
Your life.
His.
And definitely the guy whoâd driven you two and then sped off without a word.
All of it was just so fucked up.
Has been for a long time, you thought, going back to kiss Tomura again, this time trying to be a little softer, letting him know that you needed things to slow down a bit. But when your tongues met this time, you realized something odd.
Tomura tasted like nothing.
Now that you thought about it, he didnât smell like anything either.
Maybe he really is a ghost, you thought to yourself with much less concern than you probably shouldâve. Either way, you wanted to feel his lips on yours again, kissing him over and over until you felt like some of his rigidness had melted away.
âWait⊠Do you really wanna do this?â Tomura asked then, seeming to be second guessing himself now that his thoughts had actually caught up to his actions.
âDo you?â was all you answered in return. You think you wanted to, though, you werenât exactly sure why.
Does there need to be a reason, you asked yourself. Does there need to be a reason when nothing makes any fucking sense anyway?
When Tomuraâs hands started trailing up your body again, you took that as a maybe. When he kissed you again, also being a little softer this time, you took that as a yes.
So you let him have you, taking no issue when he squeezed at your ass or pulled your panties down. Because you could see it in his eyesâ this void, empty space where maybe, at one point, his true self had been.
You had also lost your true self.
You couldnât remember exactly when or how, but you often felt like you were nothing more than an empty vessel, just a body wandering aimlessly without a soul to occupy it.
And at one point, you too had wished for it all to end, having run out of options for escape, tired of scraping at the bottom of the barrel just to earn another day in the pathetic game of survival you supposed you called your life.
But here, now, with this silver-haired stranger whoâs name youâd barely learned, you felt like the embers of your dwindling soul were being reignited in its hearth, the flames that maybe would grow into a steady fire coursing warm through your blood.
Tomura didnât bother with much foreplay. Didnât need to. You were wet enough already just from some simple touching and kissing. Maybe it was because you hadnât been like this in a long timeâ lying underneath someone who you actually wanted to give yourself to, not just shutting out the sensations as you went through the motions when you were late on paying your rent. But Tomura still prepped you the best he could, slipping two of his slender fingers into your fluttering hole and pumping them in and out a few times, scissoring them inside to stretch you.
When you told him you were readyâ that you wanted him nowâ Tomura sunk into you slowly, feeling you clench around him right away and letting out a groan as his crimson eyes rolled back in his head. As he rocked his hips rhythmically, your neck craned and your back arched, breathy little moans escaping your lips.
âTomuraâŠâ you whined as he brought his chapped lips down to suck at your neck, leaving behind his own personal constellation of bruises, biting in sometimes and pulling a gasp or another moan from you.
His hips picked up the pace soon, thrusting into you and making your whimpers come out louder, sounds of pain and pleasure filling the formerly silent, small space of the apartment. You didnât care if your neighbours heard you. Itâs not like you knew your neighbours anyway. Besides, you were still planning on skipping town soon anyway.
âT-Tomura!â you were begging, but for what?
For more?
For him to slow down? To speed up?
Even you werenât sure anymore.
You just let yourself get lost in the touch of the man youâd only known for a couple of hours yet felt you understood better than some people youâd known your entire life.
It was almost like you needed to prove to yourself that this was still ok after what had happened with your boss. You needed to know that you werenât broken, that any scars youâd gained from that incident would heal and fade away. Maybe he could be the bandaid on the bullet hole that was the amalgamation of every horrible thing that had ever happened to you. With how good he felt inside you, it sure seemed that way.
And Tomura, well, heâd almost forgotten the last time heâd felt anything, let alone this much of a will to live.
Because every time his hips snapped against the inside of your thighs and your silky, pulsing walls clenched around his cock, or he pulled another one of those sweet little sounds from you, whenever your lips met his or his lips nipped at your neck, the strangest thought occurred to him.
Maybe I donât want to die.
He wouldnât trust that statement in the long run but for now, even if just one very strange, very ominous night, heâd allow himself to believe it.
And as the two of you curled up under the covers, soaking in each otherâs body heat, Tomuraâs long, thin arms wrapped around you like you were the only thing heâd ever had worth holding onto, he thought to himselfâŠ
Maybe with someone like her, life is worth living.
***
âWhy do you want to die so bad?â youâd asked Tomura after youâd both woken up that morning, both your hair tousled with sex and sleep.
The two of you stayed in bed until nearly noon, the summer sunlight that poured in through the spotted windows giving you both a warm glow, sun dust visibly floating through the beams.
âI donât know,â Tomura had answered, though that time he hadnât just used the excuse as a filler for a question he didnât feel like explaining. âI just⊠Itâs been like that for a long time.â
Youâd kissed himâ a tender, soft kiss that made Tomura feel loved for the first time in, well, in foreverâ and heâd tried to kiss you back in the same way, hoping that you could understand through the gesture that youâd saved himâ were still saving himâ from the black abyss of his death wish one touch at a time.
âI was like you once,â you admitted then, wearing a sadness that Tomura was used to seeing in his own reflection, one that lived deep in someoneâs eyes. And then it was his turn to ask you why. âBecause,â you gave a short shrug. âIâm never getting out of hereâ out of thisâŠâ You then looked around your apartment as if that summed up the entire history of your lifeâs problems. You didnât necessarily believe in heaven, though, if there really was an afterlife of some sort, you just hoped it really was a better place like people always said. Even if it were merely a plane of existence where you wouldnât have to feel any more pain.
Tomura wanted to tell you that you were wrong, that someone as beautiful and kind and caring as you deserved so much more than this, deserved to live more than most people. Definitely more than someone like him and definitely more than someone like that guy whoâd driven you both around so recklessly last night.
âIâm sorry,â was all Tomura could think to say as he held you closer to him, afraid to let you go, like if he did youâd turn to sun dust and disappear on the breeze that was seeping through the cracked window overhead.
âDonât be,â you replied evenly, sounding tired. âBesides, Iâm still alive.â You looked up at him, admiring the way the light hit his scarlet gaze. âThatâs gotta count for something, right?â
Before either of you could say anything else, your phone began to buzz from the nightstand. You wriggled from Tomuraâs grasp to see who it was, your blood freezing in your veins when you read one of your co-workers nameâs pop up on the caller ID.
âWhat is it?â Tomura asked when he felt you tense.
A million different possibilities rushed through your brain at once.
Did they find the body?
Of course they did.
Do they know I did it?
Are the police already on their way?
No, they wouldâve already gotten here.
Shit, where did I leave my shirt? Itâs still got blood on it.
âUhâŠâ Your voice shook and you cleared your throat. âOne second.â
You threw your legs over the side of the bed, reached down to pick up the nearest article of clothing, which just so happened to be Tomuraâs black crewneck, and slipped it over your head, the oversized garment covering enough of you to feel decent as you picked up the phone and retreated to the bathroom, closing the door behind you, as if the walls were thick enough to keep even your low muttering from being overheard.
Just play dumb, you reminded yourself before accepting the call. You went home last, but not too late. Only a little bit after the hairdresser who finished up before you. You didnât see your boss. Just went home.
âH-helloâ?â
âOh my god!â your co-worker boomed from the other side of the call, making you wince and pull the phone back from your ear for a moment. âAre you ok?! Did you hear?! I canât believe thisâ!â
Yep. Theyâd definitely found the body. But, luckily for you, it didnât sound like you were a suspect yet.
You tried to swallow down any evidence of your so-called âcrimeâ, attempting to sound surprised and confused, but not so much so as to expose that it was all an act.
âSomeone stabbed him and left him in the alley behind the shop!â your co-worked continued in disbelief after you asked what happened. âThank god you got home before running into whoever it was. I canât imagine!â
There would be a more thorough investigation soon enough, you knew. The police would search the shop and find traces of his blood and probably the straight razor with your fingerprints on it. You could just argue that youâd had a customer earlier that day whoâd booked a shave, or better yet, someone else at the salon would use it and mark it with their touch too.
But you would become a suspect. It wasnât a matter of if, only of when.
âAre you on the schedule for today?â she then asked, and you could hear the flipping of pages in the background, your co-worker already working on answering her own question.
You knew you were, but there was no way in hell you were planning on going in. Cops were probably crawling all over the alley. If they stopped you for questioning, you werenât sure how well you could hide the dread that was sure to show on your face and shake in your voice.
âIâm not feeling well today,â you lied. âCan you do me a huge favor? Take me off the schedule, cancel my appointments. I didnât have manyâŠâ
Your co-worker said she would. She was a good friend, if youâd considered her as such before. She was always willing to check in on you, help you out when you needed it, but you knew she definitely wouldnât be willing to sink with you on the whole killing your horrible, misogynistic, rapist of a boss situation, even if she hated him too.
âI wonder if this means our next paychecks will be lateâŠâ she sighed after agreeing to help you, wishing for you to feel better.
You both told each other to stay safe, keep in touch, and as soon as you hung up you let out a quivering exhale, a weight of getting through that conversation free of suspicion lifting from your shoulders momentarily.
Youâd almost forgotten about Tomura until you exited the bathroom and saw him sitting on the edge of your bed, half dressedâ aside from his shirt that you were wearing, of courseâ and beginning to lace up one of his beat up red converse.
âHeyâŠâ You blinked at him as you stopped in the doorway of the tiny bathroom. âFeel like breakfast?â
***
âThatâs why I was covered in blood last nightâŠâ You recounted drearily as you picked at a stack of pancakes, twirling your fork and watching the spongy food tear apart easily. Then one of your thoughts from the previous night returned to you.
Like a hot knife through butter.
You were losing your appetite.
âWell, sounds like the fucker deserved it,â Tomura commented with a lazy shrug, taking a bite of his own stack of pancakes, his loaded with blueberries and chocolate chips. For a guy whoâd tried to kill himself so often, he sure seemed to enjoy the simple things in life.
You glared down at your plate, silverware clenched in your fists. âYeah, well, it wonât matter what he deserved once the cops find outâŠâ
âHeyâŠâ Tomuraâs hand cautiously found yours, fingertips barely brushing against you and causing your gaze to snap back to him. âThey wonât find out.â But you assured him that they would, sooner or later, if you stayed here. âThen letâs leave. Run away from here.â
Letâs leave?
Run away?
As in together?
You didnât think strangers who were this easily willing to skip town with someone theyâd just met existed outside of fables and fairy tales. And you were still working on figuring out if last night was fact or fiction.
âI donât knowâŠâ You sighed. âI justââ But as you looked back to the front windows of the diner, you caught a face you recognized slinking by, the tall, lanky, tattooed figure pulling the door open and entering the establishment.
Dabi stopped as he looked up and saw you and Tomura sitting in the furthest corner, huddled close together in the otherwise empty restaurant.
He pulled the hood of the sweatshirt he wore under his black denim jacket down to expose his spiky black hair. âNo shit,â he scoffed, heading straight towards you then, sitting in one of the empty chairs and laying both elbows on the table comfortably like heâd been invited and was simply running late.
âWhat are you two doing here?â he questioned in a bored drone, then glanced at your torn up, soggy pancakes with that cerulean half-lidded stare and asked, âYou gonna eat that?â You slid your plate towards him without a word and he began to dig in, ravenous, silverware trembling slightly in his hands.
Neither you nor Tomura really knew what to say. After everything that had happened last night between the three of you, what more was there to say?
âWhy the fuck did you put so much syrup on this?â Dabi complained through his next bite, though he didnât seem to mind too much with the rate he was shoveling the food into his mouth. His bright, azure gaze hopped back and forth between you and Tomura, waiting for one of you to answer his first question.
âWhat?â Dabi then snapped, a scowl forming on his brow.
âNothing,â Tomura answered then, trying to act natural as he took another bite of his own breakfast.
âWhat are you doing here?â you inquired next, a bad mood beginning to creep over you.
âUh-uh,â Dabi shook his head as he pointed his forkâ your forkâ towards you accusingly. âI asked you first. And what are you still doing with him?â He shot a quick glare at Tomura, seeming to harbor some ill will towards the man whoâd thrown himself in front of a speeding car.
Or perhaps it was more the jealousy that the scrawny, silver-haired, scarlet-eyed stranger had gotten to go home with you and, even more, that heâd made a good enough impression to be invited out for breakfast the next morning.
âWell we were having breakfast before you showed up,â you replied with disdain, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.
âOh, were you now?â Dabi said with another sarcastic chuckle and a roll of his eyes. âTell me, do you always prefer to dissect your food into a million pieces before you consume it, or is that just for special occasions?â
âWhatâs your problem, man?â Tomura then jumped in with a sneer, causing both you and Dabi to look at him with varying degrees of surprise. Dabi almost looked intrigued, like there was a challenge he knew he could win somewhere in Tomuraâs question. And you, wellâŠ
You just werenât used to people sticking up for you.
âWas I talking to you?â Dabi shot back through a low growl, his hand tightening into a white knuckled fist around the fork to try and hide his growing withdrawal symptoms, feeling his body temperature rise even higher, and not just from rage.
âStop it!â you scolded, not wanting a scene to unfold. Now it was your turn to be on the receiving end of Dabiâs glare. âJust stop. What do you want anyway? If Iâm remembering correctly, you told us to get out and then sped off. If you want money Iâm not giving it to you.â
âCute,â Dabi flashed his teeth at you in a mocking smile, shoving the plate, now nearly devoid of all its previous contents, into the center of the table. âBut I donât want your money.â He pushed his chair back and stood aggressively, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. âBut itâs your loss,â he baited with calculated indifference. âI was actually about to invite you both to make some with me.â
Dabi began to stalk off then, but just before he could exit the diner, he spotted some faces that he recognized through the buildingâs front windows.
âShit, shit, shit, shitâŠâ he swore under his breath, whipping back around and pulling his hood up, returning to his seat at your table hastily, back facing the window. You and Tomura both just continued to watch him with an uncomfortable perplexity. âTell me when theyâre gone,â Dabi ordered in a hushed voice, but neither you nor Tomura knew what he was talking about.
That was, until two cops entered the diner, eyes scanning the empty room, sticking on the trio of you three for a moment and causing a dagger of panic to spike in your chest, before they moved on to take a seat at the main counter, calling to the waitress who was just coming out from the back and ordering two coffees.
âOf fucking courseâŠâ Dabi sighed, raising his eyebrows in lazy defeat as if to say, âthis might as well happen to me today.â
âWhat did you do now?â you accused with a scowl, eyes darting from the cops back to the tattooed stranger. Though, again, after last night, it was sort of odd to think of him in those terms.
âShut up!â Dabi ordered with a hiss, lowering his head a little more and trying to angle his face away from the cops. âJust shut up.â
âWhatever,â you murmured with irritation, now taking your fork back up and going to pick at what little remained of Tomuraâs pancakes, your annoyance making some of your appetite return to you.
But the cops didnât stay long. Just ordered their coffees, drank them while talking about bullshit, paid, and left. You and Dabi both let out a breath of relief once you found yourself alone in the diner again. Tomura had just watched the whole thing unfold with wide eyes and wavering interest.
âWhat did you do?â you pressed harder once it was just the three of again.
âLook, Iâm in some trouble with the cops and some of the local gangs, alright!â Dabi shot back with simmering fury, though still kept his voice hushed to a hissed whisper. âAnd I need money fast or else, the next time they see me, Iâm dead!â
âThe next time who sees you?â Tomura asked, not sounding the least bit worried as he sipped at the orange juice youâd ordered and barely touched.
âEither of âem, dumbass,â Dabi retorted with a roll of his eyes, causing you to kick him in the shin from under the table which earned you the most feral look heâd flashed either of you yet. His hand was curling into a fist again and, for a moment, you really thought he was going to swing at you, but he just heaved out another exasperated sigh and said, âYâknow what, forget it,â before standing from the table, the metal legs of the chair scraping harshly against the splotchy floors. He grumbled to himself as he shoved his hands back in his pockets and prepared to turn and leave, âShouldâa never stopped for you anywayâŠâ
âWhy donât you just sell that stupid car?â you called to him when he was halfway to the door. He stopped and glanced at you over his shoulder, staring at you as if he was giving you a chance to continue. âIf you need money that bad,â you clarified, nervously taking Tomuraâs hand under the table. âJust sell your car.â
Dabi marched right back up to you, perching himself to lean forward with both hands lying flat on the tabletop. âYou think I havenât thought of that already?â
âWell?â you raised, squeezing Tomuraâs hand a little harder and making him give you a slightly anxious side glance. âWhy donât you then?â
You and Dabi just stared at each other, searching each otherâs eyes with matching scowls as if hoping to fish out some kind of weakness, see who would break first.
Finally, Dabi slumped back down in his seat again and sighed, tapping his foot relentlessly on the floor. âBecauseâŠâ he admitted, partially with defeat. âI stole it. And my normal guy skipped town so now Iâm shit outta luck with finding someone I can sell it to without alerting the cops.â
You were just about to say something like, âWell that sounds like a you problem then,â when all of a sudden Tomura cut in with, âI know someone who will buy it.â
Both you and Dabi gave him incredulous looks.
âItâs kinda far awayâŠâ he elaborated, leaning in a little closer to the huddle, âBut Iâve done deals with the guy before andâŠâ his words drifted off as if he was forgetting his sentence at the same time he was speaking it.
âAnd?â Dabi snapped.
âAnd heâs good with that kind of stuff,â Tomura continued. âLike, buying and selling illegal shit.â
You blinked twice, your hand still clutched in Tomuraâs, who was holding onto you now more than you were to him.
Just who was this guy?
âIf youâre bullshitting me,â Dabi warned, pointing a long, bony finger at Tomura, whoâs crimson gaze widened even more, âthen youâre gonna be the one whoâs dead at the end of all this? Got it?â
Dabi shouldâve known better. Shouldâve known that, at least before coming home with you last night, Tomura wouldâve wanted nothing more than for the tattooed criminal to follow through with that threat.
But Tomura was telling the truth.
Sure, heâd never bought or sold a stolen car to his contact, but he had obtained all kinds of drugs in the past, experimenting with what would bring him the closest to death without actually killing him before heâd made his mind up about actually wanting to die.
So Dabi agreed, all three of you leaving the dinerâ without paying, mind youâ and piling back into the white and silver Mercedes-Maybach S Class, Dabi speeding outside of town towards the direction Tomura pointed him in, windows rolled down and music blasting all the way on account of him not wanting to have to hear either of you talk.
***
âOver there,â Tomura pointed out once a graffitied billboard of a crying woman warning against the dangers of drug addiction came into view. âTurn left at the next intersection.â
Dabi grumbled something under his breath before veering left and causing both you and Tomura to lean in the same direction with the sudden force. He then drove down a long, abandoned stretch of empty road for what felt like a long time. His agitation was growing, fingers tapping relentlessly on the wheel until finally he demanded, âWhere the hell is this place?â
âRight up ahead,â Tomura kept promising. Your hand had inched closer to his in the backseat every time Dabi voiced one of his annoyances, feeling safer than before when youâd been in the passenger seat beside Dabi but still nervous since you were never sure what was gonna set the guy off. Finally, your hand found Tomuraâs, his fingers intertwining with yours as he came to seek safety in your touch just the same. You gave his hand a little squeeze, the gesture becoming your unspoken sign for rising anxiety. To try and ease the tension that was building in the car, as he lightly stroked his thumb over the top of your hand, Tomura added, âNext turn that comes up. You canât miss it.â
The next turn wasnât for twenty more minutes, so you rested your head against Tomuraâs shoulder in the meantime, his rigidness melting away after a little while, even allowing himself to rest his head against yours, his fluffy silvery hair tickling your cheek.
But finally, once the turn came up, you were able to calm down a little bit. Mostly because Dabi started to calm down a little bit. Though, as he pulled up to the place, it looked more like an old gas station than a place where someone would trade a stolen car.
âThis really the place?â Dabi asked, glancing at you nuzzling up to Tomura in the backseat withâŠ
What?
Jealousy?
He forced himself to glare back out the windshield as his grip on the wheel tightened.
âYeah, pull in here. Thereâs a warehouse in the back,â Tomura instructed, lifting his head from yours and becoming more alert. âIâll go and see if heâs here.â
âRightâŠÂ youâll see if heâs hereâŠâ Dabi rolled his eyes, veering off to the side and putting the car in park. âFor how far we just fuckinâ drove, he better be here.â
âIâm coming with you,â you announced as you exited the car after Tomura, not wanting to be left alone with Dabi any longer than you had to. Tomura tried to tell you that it would be better if he went alone, that his contact could be a little skittish when it came to meeting unfamiliar faces, but you promised youâd be good. That youâd stay quiet and close to his side. You took his hand in yours again and then he agreed, informing you that it would be best if you didnât touch anything, no matter how tempting.
âI mean, what does this guy deal?â you asked with a playful raise of your eyebrows and lilt in your tone. âLike, rare gems or something?â
Tomura hesitated, his eyes widening a fraction as he stared down at you. Then he looked away, giving a lazy half shrug and lightly scratching at his neck as he replied, âSometimes. DependsâŠâ
Before you could even think of a response, you were being pulled along by Tomura, who stepped up to the entrance of the warehouse and knocked on the metal door. âHey! Itâs me!â he called, waiting a moment before going to knock again, shouting louder that time, âSpinner! Itâs Tomura! Got somethinâ for ya! Open up!â
Seconds later, a shady looking man answered the door with a disgruntled, âJesus, Shigaraki, keep it down! Youâll upset the new arrivals⊠Already bad enough that all the semi-trucks come down these roads all the time.â The man, who you assumed was Spinner, looked you up and down and then back to Tomura with a slightly skeptical, âUh⊠This isnât what you brought me⊠is it?â
Tomura pulled you closer to him protectively before replying, âThe car,â pointing a thumb behind him at where Dabi still sat behind the wheel.
Spinner glanced at youâ well, the two of you, reallyâ a little surprised to see Tomura so protective over anything, let alone a person, and one that he was touching so easily at that. Then he stared out at the Mercedes and nodded once, saying, âTell ïżœïżœim to drive it âround back. Iâll open the garage and he can park it there. In the meantimeâŠâ He hesitated, then sighed to himself, the faintest smile detectable as he told his old friend, âI guess you guys can come in.â
âThanksâŠâ Tomura nodded, guiding you further into the warehouse which wasâŠ
WellâŠ
The place was like a rat maze, each turn beholding another narrow hallway with an exhibit of luxury furs or designer handbags or power tools, all kinds of multi-colored pills stored in old gumball machines or clear plastic storage containers. There was one wall covered in vintage gameboys, playstations, old arcade units, some electronics that you couldnât even place. But the part of the warehouse that you found the most strange yet intriguing was the room that Spinner led you to.
It was lit mostly in red on account of the many heat lamps placed in each of the several glass tanks which contained different exotic reptilesâ snakes and geckos, poisonous frogs and iguanas. You were even pretty sure one of the animals was a baby crocodile.
âStill selling exotic animals, huh?â Tomura teased with an odd kind of fondness as he scanned the room, noting to himself the newest additions to Spinnerâs collection from the last time heâd paid him a visit. âWhat? Tigers and Lions take up too much space?â
âDonât be ridiculous,â Spinner shot back, as if offended. âI wouldnât trade these no matter what the price. They were all lab animals. Test subjects for this and that. But recently another friend of mine caught wind that they were gonna be confiscated by some kind of animal control, so I took âem instead.â Spinner reached in and grabbed up one of the lizards, which rested calmly along his wrist as he gently stroked the top of its head. âPoor little guys have been through a lotâŠâ
âRight, so, the car?â Tomura redirected. âWill you buy it?â
The dealerâs affection for his reptiles faded back into an attitude of business as he placed his hand back into the tank, allowing the lizard to crawl down and scurry back into its little cave as he said, âGotta check a few things and then Iâll let you know. Your friend should be around back by now. Guess I should go meet âim.â
âHeâs not my friend,â Tomura finally admitted, pulling you a little closer to his side as you continued to gaze around the reptile room in awe.
âWho is âe then? Someone we can trust at least, right?â
Tomura bit his tongue to try and suppress a nervous smirk, one of his hands clenching into a fist as it threatened to dig into his skin as he lied, âSomethinâ like thatâŠâ
âItâs complicated,â you chimed in, both Tomura and Spinnerâs gazes snapping towards you. Neither of them said anything so you went on a little more nervously with, âW-well⊠The three of us sort of just⊠ran into each other the other night andââ
âAh, câmon, ShigarakiâŠâ Spinner sighed with irritation. âHow many times have I told you to only bring people you know here. Need I remind you what happened that one time with that guy who ended up being an undercover cop?â
âTrust me, this guyâs definitely not a cop,â Tomura assured his friend, removing his touch from you and migrating closer to Spinner, pleading his case. âIf anything, heâs a first rate asshole, but other than thatâŠâ Tomura shrugged. âGuy has his own reasons for needing the cash.â
âSo youâre splitting it?â Spinner asked, seeming to warn Tomura with the raise of his eyebrows that that was a bad idea. Tomura gave a hand gesture that said something along the lines of sort of, not really, who knows and a wincing expression. âDoes he know that?â
The two of them began to leave the room, and you were staring at Tomura as if heâd look back and tell you to sit tight until he returned, that everything was ok, but he just kept on walking, chatting away with his friend while you sought refuge on the tiny sofa in the center of the room and basked in the red glow and many slithering silhouettes of the snakes in the tanks.
It felt like a long time until you finally heard footsteps approaching down the way that Tomura and Spinner had gone off in. Though, instead of silvery tufts and crimson eyes rounding the corner, you were met with inky black and smoldering sapphire.
Dabi was smoking a cigarette. Mustâve just lit it with how he was fidgeting with the silver lighter, a soft metallic clang tapping out irregularly. âWell, itâs just one fuckinâ surprise after another in this place, ainât it?â he remarked with a sarcastic scoff, plopping down on the couch next to you, stretching his arms out over the back and looking around at all the scaled creatures with carefully concealed awe. He blew out a cloud of thick smoke, the smell making your nose wrinkle as you scooted away a few inches. You wanted to tell him he probably shouldnât smoke in here on account of all the animals but, who were you kidding, itâs not like he wouldâve cared.
âWhereâs Tomura?â you asked, a slight twinge of worry laced into your voice.
âYour Romeoâs out with that other guy inspecting the car,â he replied dismissively through a yawn. âThey better hurry it up. I want my moneyâŠâ
âI think you mean our money.â Youâd meant it to come out sounding much stronger than it really hadâ more of a declaration than a timid reminderâ and your confidence dwindled even more when Dabi shot you a narrowing glare.
âWhat are you talking about? Iâm the one who stole it. Hell, I drove you two around in it all night. You guys owe me.â He scoffed to himself again, wearing a cold smirk and slightly adjusting his position on the couch. Under his breath he muttered, âOur moneyâŠÂ Please.â
Perhaps it was the fact that youâd killed someone or just that you were getting really fed up with this guy, but something had suddenly possessed you to argue back, âYeah, and without Tomura you never wouldâve had somewhere to sell the car. Remember that?â
Dabi shifted his position to face you better now, rage lighting up being his eyes while his tone remained low and even, a volcano always on the verge of erupting. âAnd tell me, how do you come into all this? âCause as far as Iâm concerned, youâre just some bitch I found covered in blood wandering the streets in the middle of the night. Whatâd you do? Slash some guy who got a little too rough with you? Or, wait, maybe your story is that he tried to attack you first and somehow you got the upper hand.â
You felt an unpleasant burning in the back of your nose. The tightening of your throat. Tears prickling at the edges of your vision. But you werenât about to cry because you were offended. You were about to cry because you were furious.
Because this guy didnât know a goddamn thing.
And, even if he didâ even if you told him the truthâ he still wouldnât care.
As long as he got his drugs at the end of all of this, why should he?
âYou donât know anything,â you growled, rage cutting through your trembling fear that yes, you were a indeed a murderer. And one soon to be at large once the cops did a little more investigating.
Dabi leaned in, pupils mere pinpricks as all that bright cerulean threatened to swallow you whole. âThen just fuckinâ tell me already.â
But you were leaning in too, you now realized, your shared trait of living hard, unfortunate lives pulling you together like two mistreated magnets, however resistant you tried to be.
And as Dabi stared you down that time, you realized that something had changedâ or rather, was changingâ behind that piercing cobalt stare of his. It made you reconsider that maybe, if you just filled in the gaps, he would understand. He would care.
Or maybe heâd just turn you over to the authorities for ransom and call it a day.
âMy bossâŠâ you swallowed, mouth coated in thick, sticky spit. âHe tried toâ He almostâŠâ You let out a frustrated sigh, a shiver skittering through your bones as you replayed the events of less than twenty-four hours ago in your head. If you focused hard enough, you could still smell that pungent metallic tang of all the blood, feel his thick fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs. âI didnât have a choice. If I didnât kill him, he wouldâve killed me, sooner or later.â
Dabi was slowly nodding his head. And, for a moment, you thought maybe he did understand. But when he opened his mouth and asked, âSo, you are a whore orâŠ?â you rolled your eyes and let out a frustrated groan.
âIâm a hairdresser!â You snapped, wiping more tears away as you sniffled, scowl deepening. âOr at leastâŠâ your gaze became far off, staring into the tank of a komodo dragon in a daze as you concluded, âI used to be.â
And then Dabi actually laughed.
He was trying to stifle a series of cruel, amused chuckles as you shot him a look of fiery resentment, about to say something horrible to him before he piped up with a teasing, âAnd to think, you had the worst crime out of all of us the entire time!â
âItâs not funny!â you scolded, both your raised voice and Dabiâs incessant cackling stirring the reptiles. âI was just defending myself! But now Iâm probably going to jail! How do you think that feels, huh? How do you think it feels to not have anywhere to go or anyone to rely on right now?â
Dabiâs laughter suddenly ceased, as fast as a flame blown out by a quick, strong breath. His face became blanker than youâd ever seen it, completely serious as he replied, âProbably pretty fuckinâ shitty. But yâknow what. Thatâs life, ainât it? No oneâs ever really there to save you.â He leaned in closer, looming over you, his shadow casting across your form and making you disappear into the darkness that filled the red room. âAll you ever really have is yourself,â he went on, his simmering anger boiling hotter and hotter with each new sentence. âAnd thatâs what happens to the weak ones. They canât protect themselves when worse comes to worst. Because thereâs never gonna be any grand hero to swoop in to your rescue. And the sooner we all realize that, the better. So quit your fuckinâ cryingââ He was pointing a finger at you now, tears having started streaming down your face again without you even realizing it. âGrow the fuck up, and figure out what youâre gonna do about it. âCause youâre all you got. Understand?â
Your entire body was shaking and, staring up at him in the eerie red light, a dangerous glint shining in his eyes, Dabi really looked like a monster. But youâd slayed one of those before. If you had a straight razor, you could do it again. Though, you didnât really want to be a killer. Or rather, you didnât want to get used to killing. Because you still believed that you were a good person, that you maybe even deserved good things.
Youâd crossed a line, sure. One that, in the eyes of society, would spell irreversible damage.
But wasnât that always the way these kinds of things played out? By showing you one atrocity only to prepare you for another, much more traumatizing one? Constantly reminding you, it could all be much worse?
âBut donât worryâŠâ Dabi side eyed you as he said, âI wonât rat you out. People like you and me, we gotta do what we need to in order to survive.â He leaned forward to place his silver lighter on the coffee table, taking another long drag to calm his nerves.
âThanksâŠâ but there is no you and me, you wanted to say. Instead, you just scooted a few inches away from him, hoping Tomura would come back soon.
Until he and Spinner returned, however, you and Dabi opted for awkward silence. You were just trying not to think about the blood on your hands, even if the bastard had deserved it. Dabi thoughâŠ
Dabiâs mind was in a much different place.
Because as heâd peered down at you in the redlight, the dim patch of fluorescent illumination directly above the couch that the room allowed shimmering in your big, terrified eyesâŠ
Heâd realized that what heâd felt spike in his chest when heâd glanced at you and Tomura cuddling in the backseat was indeed jealousy, the emotion slowly seething into his skin only to inevitably radiate from him if he didnât find a way to cure it soon.
And the other night when heâd kicked you and Tomura out of the car and sped off. That had been a mistake, hadnât it? What he shouldâve done was dumped that silver-haired suicidal off on the curb and insisted on driving you home. Maybe then it couldâve been him sharing pancakes with you at the diner instead. Maybe then it wouldâve just been the two of you splitting the money and not this useless third party who was going to spend it on who knows what useless shit.
Dabi clenched his jaw, trying to keep himself from sneaking another glance at you but, just like when it came to his addiction, he didnât have much self control.
Whatever, he tried to convince himself. Once this deal is done, weâll all go our separate ways and never have to see each other again.
Only, what if that wasnât true. What if that was only true for him, and you and Tomura went back to your apartment or some motel or, fuck it, youâd have money, you could get a room somewhere nice, and fucked again.
Just the thought of that grungy loserâs hands all over you was making Dabi start to lose his cool. And youâd let Tomura kiss you too? Let him run his tongue all over the inside of your mouth and down your neck and inside your tight little pussy? Disgusting.
Bet I could make you feel better than he did, Dabi thought to himself as his leg began to bounce anxiously. Bet I could fuck you so good youâd forget youâd ever met him.
But then, before Dabi could start to really spin out of control from the jealousy and withdrawal, Spinner and Tomura reenerted the reptile room, both you and Dabi looking over and awaiting that fateful number.
âSo, I took a look andâŠâ Spinner began, pretending to hold you and Dabi in suspense while the smirk on Tomuraâs face said he already knew the price youâd be splitting three ways. âItâs in pretty good condition. Whoever you stole it from mustâve just bought it and, based on the paper plates, it had to have been within the last thirty days. Iâll give you twenty thousand. Three ways thatâsââ
âOver six thousand eachâŠâ you breathed out in sheer disbelief. That was more cash than youâd ever had in your bank account, let alone all at once.
You couldnât fathom it. The thought of what you could do with that much money. The thought of getting out of that shitty apartment and moving to a better part of the city, one where you could get hired at a salon that was much more high end than the back alley one youâd been previously employed atâŠ
If you hadnât killed someone, that is.
If you werenât soon to be a wanted criminal.
âThatâs right,â Spinner confirmed, taking out a thick envelope and handing it off to Tomura who looked pretty proud of himself.
Dabi, however, was not as pleasedâŠ
âTwenty thousand?â he asked, standing and tossing his half finished cigarette down onto the concrete floor of the warehouse, stomping it out with his first stride towards the dealer. âNah. No way. Things worth at least one hundred thousand new. Maybe even more than that.â
âSorry,â Spinner shrugged. âThatâs as high as I can go.â
Dabiâs hands clenched into fists by his sides and you were sure he was finally going to throw that punch heâd been holding back all this time. So you intervened again, saying, âThatâs more than enough to get your drugs.â Dabi looked over his shoulder lightning fast, that vengeful and violent shine back in his eyes and honed in right on you. Meanwhile, Tomura was ready to jump between you two if Dabi really did lose his temper.
âCute,â Dabi spit, whirling back towards Tomura and his friend before eying the envelope containing the cash. He could just steal it. Yeah. Once the three of you were out of here, Dabi could take it and run. âAnd you,â he nodded aggressively at Tomura. âWhat the hell do you need it for, huh?â
Tomuraâs eyes widened a bit, his jaw clenched as he gripped the envelope tighter, Dabi taking a step towards him. He then opened his mouth to throw a hostile reply right back, but no words came.
In truth, he didnât know.
Before meeting you, Tomura probably wouldâve blown it all on one hell of a self-destructive night before finally pulling the trigger and ending it all. But nowâŠ
Well, heâd have to figure that out once he discovered what you were planning to do.
âWhat?â Dabi smirked, cruelty seeping back into his voice. âYou gonna pay someone off to perform a hit on you or somethinâ?â
Tomura warned with a growl, âDonât test meâŠâ his eyes going wide, though this time in a much more feral, dangerous way than before. Then, ever so slowly, he placed the cash in his back pocket. He could take it and run too, if he wanted. He just had to get past Dabi to grab you first.
âGuysâŠ?â you spoke, sensing the growing tension and hoping to calm things before they really spiraled out of control. âCâmon. We got the money. Now letâs just goâŠâ
Dabi ignored you, clearly occupied on setting Tomura off before calling it quits with the little ragtag trio the team of you had formed. And part of him, whether he realized it or not, wanted you to see that, just because Tomura had remained relatively calm during all the recent chaos, that didnât mean that he wasnât capable of flying off the hinges too.
Because what was that saying again?
Always watch out for the quiet ones?
âYâknow, Iâm not really convinced that someone like you even deserves that kind of money,â Dabi went on. Spinner was getting fed up with this quarrel too, though his concern was more for the fact that all this bad energy swirling in the room was bound to upset his replies than if one of the boys left here with a black eye. âSo why donât you just do the right thing and give it to me and the girl so we can get on with our lives while you keep trying to end yours.â
âJust stop it!â youâd tried to shout out, but it was too late.
Tomura moved fast.
Too fast.
Just a blur of black and silver and crimson, a snarl echoing off the concrete and eyes flashing with ill intent as he lunged at Dabi, the force sending both of them falling to the ground.
It was clear to everyone in the room that Tomura had never been in a real fight before, the way he wildly and clumsily threw punches that Dabi blocked with mocking ease. It wasnât long until Dabi gained the upper hand and flipped the scrawny, scraggly boy on his back, jumping on top of him and showing him what a real punch looked and felt like.
Spinner was shouting. You were crying, screaming at the two of them to âPlease stop! Knock it off already!â and Tomura and Dabi were rolling and clawing and cursing at each other while fighting for possession of that damn envelope.
The three of you were once again plunged into connected chaos, though this time none of you seemed to know how to rescue each other.
Eventually, the envelope slid from both their gasps and landed right in front of you. In a moment of panic and impulse, you grabbed it up and then snatched the lighter Dabi had left on the coffee table, flicking it open and producing a flame, holding it dangerously close to the cash and bellowing out, âBOTH OF YOU STOP OR Iâ IâM BURNING IT!â
All of the oxygen in the room felt like it had been sucked out at once.
Even Spinner was holding his breath, as if he had something to lose.
âAre you fucking crazy?!â Dabi shouted, voice cracking with a shriek upturning at the end.
âGet off him or I swear Iâll do it!â And you werenât bluffing, the flame kissing the edge of the envelope and beginning to toast the crinkled paper, causing Dabi to obey instantly, holding his hands up in surrender and stepping off Tomura, who was coughing from when Dabi had closed his hands around his throat.
And Dabi only hated Tomura more now.
Heâd hated him from the very first moment his stolen car had nearly run the suicidal maniac over in the street. Heâd hated him when heâd dropped you two off near your apartment and sped off with the music blaring, just knowing that the two of you were going to fuck. Heâd hated him when heâd seen you sharing pancakes at the diner just earlier that morning. And heâd hated him when heâd seen him rest his head on top of yours in the rear view mirror like two lovesick puppies leeching warmth off each other.
He hated that you were willing to throw away life changing amounts of cash just to save Tomura from a black eye and some broken ribs. Hated that you cared more about the silver-haired freak than the bigger picture hereâ the picture that he was soon to be painted out of.
Because time after time, Dabi had lost in life. Heâd lost, most times, because he fell in with bad company or couldnât run fast enough when a job went south. Heâd lost because heâd become a slave to his addiction and couldnât give two shits about correcting it. And heâd had the perfect opportunity to be the one youâd invited back to your apartment, the one youâd shared shitty diner food with, and the one youâd curl up in the car with, but heâd blown it because he just couldnât let himself have anything good without thinking there was going to be a catch.
âJust give me the lighterâŠâ Dabi spoke softly to you now, as if talking you off a ledge, one hand extending for you to toss the zippo into, or, in another world, take hold of.
You hesitated, slowly but surely lowering the flame, dropping the lighter to the floor as you drew in frantic, uneven breaths. With one hand clutching his ribs, which were likely bruised after that altercation, Tomura pushed himself to his feet and came over to stand before you, saying something to you quiet enough that Dabi couldnât hear. But you handed Tomura back the envelope and thatâs all that really mattered in the end, right?
âLetâs just get out of here,â Tomura spoke louder now, turning to address Dabi as well. âItâs a long walk back into the city.â
And with that, the three of you left the odd maze of Spinnerâs contraband castle and headed back down the long stretch of abandoned highway that youâd come, the sun already beginning to sink towards the horizon before you were halfway home.
***
All three of you were exhausted, mentally and physically, and exchanged minimal conversation throughout your trek back towards civilization before Dabi just couldnât take it anymore.
âDoes he know?â he asked, nodding his head from you to Tomura.
âKnow what?â you asked, though you already had a pretty good idea about what he was alluding to.
âOh, so he doesnât knowâŠâ
âHe does know,â you sighed, exasperated. Meanwhile, Tomura just made sure the envelope of cash was kept out of Dabiâs reach.
âDoesnât it bother you?â Dabi then asked Tomura directly, nudging him a little and causing him to flinch away.Â
âCut it out, man,â Tomura rasped, a slight grimace flashing across his features before fatigue reclaimed them.
âWhateverâŠâ Dabi rolled his eyes, a certain mischievous lilt to his tone, edging Tomura on and grasping at straws to find any reason to cause a rift between you two. âI just know that if I was gonna fuck some random girl, Iâd wanna know whether I was stickinâ my dick in a murderer or nââ
Again, Tomura moved unexpectedly fast, a cloud of dust kicked up from under his beat up red converse as he whirled on Dabi, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, spit flecked through gritted teeth as he puffed out a vicious breath.
Dabi raised his hands as if surrendering, yet still had the gall to say, âHey, Iâm just lookinâ out for ya. Your funeral, buddy. Though, maybe youâd like that.â
âTomura, heâs not worth itâŠâ you nearly whispered, too tired to burst out in fury like you had before. You placed a hand on Tomuraâs back and pulled him from his blinding rage, slowly retracting to melt back into your gentle, understanding touch. âPlease⊠Letâs just go home.â
You and Tomura each had an arm wrapped around one other, walking with slightly staggering steps as you guided him away and further down the road.Â
âYeahâŠâ Dabi scoffed to himself, clenching his fists at the sight of you two huddled together again. âLetâs go home.â
***
It took another two hours until the skyline of the city that had damned all three of you came into sight, another sixty painful minutes ticking by before you actually set foot back in the territory. And you shouldâve known by now, especially in Dabiâs company, that you were never really home free.
Because the moment you thought you could breathe easy and part ways, enjoy the remainder of the stroll back to your apartment with Tomura to count your cash and make a plan, Dabi ran into an old friend.
Or rather, an old friend ran into Dabi.
âPretty fuckinâ brave of you to show your face around here again!â a rough voice called from behind, causing all three of you to turn in unison, six eyes gone wide and bearing different breeds of fear.
âShit,â Dabi hissed under his breath, pushing you two along and tacking on an urgent, âWe gotta go. Now.â
âNot so fast, hot shot,â another big, burly, tattoo-covered man chuckled as he stepped out of the nearest alley, blocking your path with a crowbar in hand. âItâs time to pay up, Dabi.â
You and Tomura braced yourselves, scanning the group of men that were circling around you for any gaps big enough to slip through and make an escape. But the pack only tightened, more and more criminals emerging from the shadows armed with flashes of sharp silver or rusted iron.
âHey, boysâŠâ Dabi replied, trying to hide the quiver in his tone with an uncharacteristically friendly lilt. âBeen a while, huh?â He was backing up towards you and Tomura, possibly trying to make a run for it himself, but there was no escape now. Not for any of you. Especially not for you, what with the hungry way the pack of men stared you down, nearly salivating at all their own disgusting thoughts.
âI sure hope you have our money,â the one who was presumably the leader of the gang went on, a smug grin plastered across his scarred face, tapping the weight of the crowbar in his palm with a steady beat. ââCause if ya donâtâŠâ He swung the crowbar forward, causing all three of you to jolt as it pointed directly at Dabi. âWell, then weâre gonna have a biiiiiig problem, ainât we?â
And he knew that Dabi didnât have the money.
Or, at least, he normally wouldnât have, if not for the cash heâd collected from selling the stolen car.
But still, even that wasnât enough to pay off the entire debt and Dabi was too hell bent on securing more of his drugs before heâd even consider handing this man a single dollar.
And you and Tomura, wellâŠ
You still needed your cut.
None of you were too keen on going down without some kind of fight.
Not when youâd come this far through hell to finally catch a glimpse of the twisted heaven on the horizon.
âYeah, well, about thatâŠâ Dabi chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head and trying to stay calm. Meanwhile, you and Tomura noticed some of the rough and tumble facade melt away, leaving only a guy who had been way in over his head from the start.
And it happened so fast. The flash of metal. A silver streak appearing and disappearing before anyone could really see what it was. But left in its wake was a slash of red and a guttural howling, the scene growing smaller and smaller behind you until you realized that someone was dragging you along by your wrist, you nearly tripping over your own feet as you glanced over your shoulder with horror, blood turning to ice.
Maybe Dabi had shouted, âRun!â
Maybe he hadnât.
But now all three of you were high tailing it down a series of narrow alleys, Tomuraâs grip on you like a vice, desperate and unrelenting. At some point, you think you were telling him he was hurting you, trying to pull away when you felt the pressure growing over your bones, thorny pangs of pain peppered over your skin. But he didnât hear you over the surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins. And even if he did, he didnât care. He wasnât going to let you go. Not until you were somewhere safe and warm with him and no one else.
âFuck! Fuck!â Dabi shouted when he rounded the next corner and halted, you and Tomura nearly barreling into him as you skid to a stop and were faced with a dead end. âUh⊠New plan!â He backed up, peering down the remaining stretch of straight path and seeing the silhouettes of even more enemies pop up to cage you in, a big dumpster wedged in the middle of the narrow alley slowing them down, but not for long.
Panicked, he started back down the dead end, spotting a fire escape ladder just out of reach, rushing over to jump up to try and grab hold and pull it down, but every attempt was met with no more than his fingers barely brushing against the first bar.
âWhat are we doing, guys?!â you shouted, your panic catching up with you as you stared down the alley and watched as your pursuers became dangerously closer by the second. Your heart was pounding, pulse beating so fast and hard that it hurt. Though, meanwhile, unbeknownst to you amongst the dread, Tomura had gone over to assist, Dabi lifting him to pull down the ladder.
You froze. Paralyzed with terror as a group of silhouettes were mere yards away. So close you could see the whites of their eyes. Youâd meant to yell, to scream, anything to inform the boys that they were coming. But then that rough, scarred hand grabbed yours again and pulled you towards the ladder, practically pushing you up it even as you scrambled as fast as you could to climb.
Dabi was already at the top, extending a hand to you to pull you up to the landing.
And the only reason Tomura dared let go of you was because he thought that Dabi would just pull you up and then keep running on his own. So when the inky haired bastard locked his fist around your wrist and took off with you. WellâŠ
Tomura saw red.
âWait! Owâ Stop!â You tried to protest, fighting harder against his grip than you had on Tomuraâs, digging your heels into the ground only to be yanked forward to nearly stumble over the next flight of stairs. You looked behind you for Tomura, not even having time to make sure heâd made it up the ladder before youâd been taken hostage again. You called his name, hopingâ prayingâ that heâd call back. Let you know he was ok. That heâd made itâ
But there was only silence.
âSTOP!â you shrieked, reaching forward with your free hand to dig your nails into Dabiâs arm, clawing viciously at his inked skin until he had no choice but to let go, a few thin rivulets of blood welling up from the pale surface.
âJesusâ What the fuck is wrong with you?!â He scolded, sapphire eyes smoldering with white hot fury beneath a deep scowl.
âTomuraâ!â
âWho fucking cares?!â Dabi shouted over your cries, which were quickly turning to sobsâ fat, glistening tears welling in your eyes and streaking shimmering lines down your cheeks in pairs. Your chest was heaving with shallow breaths, suffocating yourself every time you tried to draw in more air, feeling like you were going to throw up. Like you were going to pass out. Like you were going to die.
âBut heâ!â
âBetter him than us!â Dabi cut in with a snarl, approaching you with fists clenched. You winced when he came close enough that his shadow cast over you, shielding your face with your arms as if you expected a strike. âNow, unless you want those guys to rip you apart, then I suggest you stop your fucking crying and fucking run.â
His voice was icy hot. Searing into your heart like millions of barbed fish hooks, each one connected to a line that pulled in a different direction, intending to unravel you. To massacre you.
You felt your world sway and caught yourself on the railing of the staircase, peering down over the edge at the vast drop below.
And the thought did cross your mind. To jump. To end it all. But then from the landing below came, âKeep going!â
Both you and Dabi looked at each other with varying degrees of relief and confusion before you turned to see Tomura sprinting up the staircase, out of breath but still refusing to slow down. Immediately all your dread was replaced with a vibrant joy, a beaming, yet crooked smile lighting up your face and contrasting eerily with the tears that still spilled from your eyes.
âTomura! Youââ
âThe ladder!â He huffed, coming to a stop and nearly doubling over once he joined you and Dabi on the next landing. An awful wheezing sound rattled in his chest with every inhale he took, bracing his hands on his knees for a moment before finding the will to stand and finishing his sentence with, âTried to pull it up but it got stuck halfway⊠Theyâre probably⊠On their wayâŠâ
âLike I saidâ!â Dabi snapped, getting ready to run again. âWe gotta go. Now.â
So the three of you took offâ together this timeâ the top of the building but a landing away now, though you could hear the frantic clattering of heavy footsteps not far below.
âWhat happens once we get to the roof?â You called to Dabi, who was already on the final ladder.
âJust trust me!â he shouted back, extending a hand once again to pull you up, though you were careful not to hold on too tightly after what had just happened moments ago.
As Tomura climbed the ladder, he muttered to himself, âI donât like those oddsâŠâ
But once you were on the roof, Dabi seemed to know the terrain better than he did on the ground. Because, up here, you could see the entire city laid out before you. All the narrow, intertwining streets appeared like an elaborate maze with the heart of the district shimmering like a mirage in the summer heat far, far in the distance.
âWeâll head towards the shopping district and lose âem there,â Dabi explained as you and Tomura followed behind him in a line, treading much more carefully than your surefooted, tattooed friend so as to avoid a deadly fall. âMy place isnât far. Weâll hide out there for a while till we can make sure the streets are clear.â
âWonât they know where to find you?â you asked, nearly rolling your eyes as such an obvious flaw in his plan. âI mean, you canât be telling me that these guys donât know where you live.â
Dabi smirked to himself, eyes trained on where his next step would land upon the roof to avoid any loose shingles as he replied with an overconfident, âWell, thatâs just one of the perks of this lifestyle, sweetheart. Anywhere can be your home when you donât really have one of your own.â
You scoffed at his arrogance, not exactly finding it very funny to be making jokes at a time like this, but ultimately you let it go. It was a bridge youâd cross when you came to it, so long as you could get to the other end of the slanted path you were currently on.
But Dabi wasnât joking.
He had a place. Several, in fact. A hideout in every corner of the outskirts. And every time one of them was discovered or raided, heâd just count his losses, retrieve what little he could, and forge a new hole to call home until the process inevitably repeated.
It was how heâd survived this long. How heâd evaded his enemies just long enough to extend his deadline or wrack up an even bigger debt.
Lucky for you, though, he was taking you back to his favorite hideout. It could almost pass for an actual place someone might be able to call home. Almost.
âHey, I think we lost âemâŠâ Tomura eventually remarked as youâd changed to your third rooftop, standing still and staring over the scenery behind you. Lo and behold, your pursuers were nowhere to be seen.
Dabi stopped to listen in, the whistling from a strong gust of wind the only sound to be heard up here other than the muffled traffic drifting over from a few streets down. âYeahâŠâ Dabi muttered, then clearing his throat to speak loud enough for you both to hear, âYeah, I think we lost âem. Câmon. Letâs go.â
A few more unstable rooftops and several flights of rusted fire escape staircases later and the three of you were back on solid ground. And it was sort of strange, unexpectedly, being back among the maze of buildings and alleys after experiencing the view of the city from so high up. You felt so much smaller than you had before, gazing up through the gaps in the architecture at the sliver of sky which had just expanded all around you, painting over the muted greys and browns of your world with a serene shade of blue.
âHey, câmonâŠâ Tomura urged quietly, taking your hand in his once more, though much more gently this time, and guiding you to follow after him, careful not to press into the bruises that were already beginning to blossom on your wrist from the abuse between him and Dabi forcing you along. âWe gotta go.â
But you just wanted to stay and stare up at the sky, unable to shake the feeling that perhaps that was the first time youâd ever truly seen itâ a sprawling revelation expanding around you after youâd just been fearing for your life, the city never that quiet, never that still, the heat of summer not so stifling when there was so much fresh air swirling around you.
But your feet carried you after Tomura, drifting closer to where Dabi was checking to make sure the coast was clear from the opening in the alley that would merge back onto the main streets, waving you two forward in a wordless announcement that it was safe.
âJust a few more blocks,â Dabi sighed, careful cerulean gaze scanning the narrow horizon like prey expecting to find a predator lurking among the telephone poles and parked cars. But then he looked at you, noticed the tranquil daze that had overtaken your features, and asked with a skeptical squint, âYou holdinâ up ok?â
It took a second for you to realize he was talking to you, snapping out of your daydream and becoming more alert as you looked up at him and replied with a shaky, âY-yeah⊠Iâm fine,â as you melted back into Tomuraâs side.
And Dabi wished that Tomura wouldnât have made it past the first ladder. That heâd been caught by those thugs and pulled down, beaten to death and left to suffer on the grimey concrete. Because then maybe he could be the one whose hand you were holding. Whose chest you were starting to lean against. He could take you the rest of the way to his little hole in the wall apartment and get you something to drink, sling an arm around you and pull you close until you stopped trembling and heâd convinced you that no oneâ not the cops or any backstreet criminalsâ was going to take you from him.
But the bastard whoâd tried to kill himself by stepping in front of the car was the one who currently protected your heart, the one who was allowed to touch you and whisper how it isnât much further, weâll be there soon.
Dabi cursed himself for the man heâd been twenty-four hours ago. The man who was so hardened from this life that heâd fallen into that he was no longer able to recognize something that was good before he scorned it, scorched it, ruined it with harsh words and biting remarks.
Deep down, thoughâŠ
Deep down he stoked the embers of hope in the hearth of his heart. Hope that maybe, if you could just get through this, he could convince you to be his.
âItâs right this way,â Dabi informed the two of you as you rounded the next corner, this street wider than most of the others youâd traveled down yet entirely abandoned. Only some littered newspaper scraps or empty cardboard boxes blown astray from overflowing dumpsters scuttling along the street when a breeze blew by.
âWhere even are we?â you asked as you continued to survey the place, surprised not to find even a single parked car, taxi, moped, anything in sight.
âItâs better if you donât know, actually,â Dabi mumbled, fishing a set of keys out of one of his pockets and flipping through them until he found the correct one.Â
It was only then, just as he swung open a heavy metal door and held it as if wanting you to enter first that it occurred to you. Such a chilling, stomach turning realization.
You stopped short halfway through your next step, giving Tomuraâs hand a slight squeeze in warning like you had in the car on the way to Spinnerâs.
What if this was a trap?
What if Dabi was planning on killing the two of you and claiming your shares of the cash for himself?
It wouldnât be hard to do. Not once he shut that door behind youâ one that might only open one way, for all you knewâ and guided you further into an unfamiliar building. Heâd been so quick with that switchblade before. Only, this time, instead of slashing an eye it would be you and Tomuraâs throats.
âWhatâs the matter?â Tomura inquired with a concerned mutter, leaning down a little to keep the conversation private.
But then Dabi called over with an impatient, âHurry it up! Canât be out in the open for too long!â
You just shook your head, shuffling back a half step while your eyes remained stuck on Dabi holding open the door.
âCâmon, itâs ok. Weâre fine now,â Tomura tried to urge you, gently tugging you along until you caved and your feet stumbled forward, heartbeat hammering as you squeezed Tomuraâs hand even tighter. He could feel your entire body shaking, but he figured that was more from the trauma of the recent events than the possible fear of being murdered by the third member of your unlikely trio.
Once you were inside, the door shutting behind you with a high pitched creak whining from its rusted hinges, you were engulfed in complete darkness for longer than you were comfortable with, paranoia lacing through your veins with a jittery shiver until Dabi flicked on a light switch and the place was set ablaze with vivid blueâ graffied flames painted along the floors and walls that glowed under the blacklight.Â
âItâs not much butâŠâ Dabi shrugged. âThey wonât find us here.â
And just like that, your mood flipped. You were in awe for the second time that day, unable to believe the sight before you was one that belonged to your usually bleak reality.Â
âDid youâŠâ you breathed out with a sigh, a fresh wave of calm overtaking you as you and Tomura followed Dabi down the long hallway. âDid you do all this?â
Dabi hummed out a short chuckle. âYeah, well, sometimes I find myself having to hide out for a little longer than usual, soâŠâ
Beyond the tunnel of blue flames, behind the only door located in the expansive corridor, was a single floor, several makeshift walls and barriers constructed from cardboard boxes or mismatched, patchwork pieces of plastic creating little rooms among the warehouse-like expanse. The walls of this place were also decorated with the glowing blue flames, the inferno that ignited along the hall growing into a raging wildfire with some red accents for contrast.
Dabi flipped on the main lights and the art disappeared, plain concrete walls swallowing the fiery blaze and bathing the hideout in bright fluorescence, some of the lamps flickering every once in a while to remind you that this place was not a magical fantasyland, but a dilapidated, definitely not up to safety code concrete box that you could very well be calling home for the foreseeable future.
âYou can take your shoes off,â Dabi began, already heading towards one of the little sectioned off rooms, âOr donât. I donât care. Sit wherever. Whatever.â Then, from the room that was most likely his makeshift kitchen, he called out, âHey, either of you want a drink?!â
For a moment, youâd forgotten Tomura was even there, his hand locked with yours just feeling like second nature at this point. So when he called back, âSome water might be nice!â you nearly jolted at the sudden voice. He then guided you over to the tiny, scuffed up couch and sat beside you, searching your faceâ your eyesâ for something.
âHeyâŠâ he muttered, brushing some of your disheveled hair away from your sweat streaked face, eyes still a little puffy from crying on the fire escape. âYou okâŠ?â
You started crying again, slowly at first, then sobbing uncontrollably as you buried your face into his shoulder, your wailing muffled by the flimsy fabric of his shirt. He pulled you in closer, protectively, as Dabi re-entered the main area carrying two bottles of water and one can of beer, stride only stuttering a fraction when he witnessed your current state, the way you were clinging to Tomura for dear life again, as if he was the only thing in this world holding you together.
His grip around the beer can tightened, pressing a few small dents into the aluminum.Â
âWhatâs wrong with âer now?â he asked, words coated in thickâ yet forcedâ derision, rolling his eyes and tossing Tomura one of the water bottles before jumping over the back of the couch and landing on the thin cushions next to you, keeping a bit of a distance even if that wasnât necessarily what he wanted to do right now.
Tomura unscrewed the cap of the water bottle, trying to coax you to catch your breath and take a sip as he rubbed a hand up and down your back. But you wouldnât lift your head from his shoulder, only nuzzling into his body deeper.
Both Tomura and Dabi exchanged unsure glances, neither exactly sure what to do right now, that is, until they heard your sobs turn into laughterâ a cold, cruel chuckle that hiccuped in your chest every time a lingering sob pried its way past your lungs.
When you finally pulled your face from its hiding place among Tomuraâs person, your head flopped back and you slumped into the couch. You looked sort of terrifyingâ teeth bared in a too wide smile as your body shook from soundless amusement, tears continuing to stream down your face and collect under your chin before dripping down onto your shirt.
âBitch is fuckinâ crazyâŠâ Dabi mumbled under his breath as he raised the beer can to his lips, though he jumped when a particularly loud burst of laughter tore through your throat. Then he couldnât take his eyes off you, usually half-lidded and unbothered stare going wide enough to rival Tomuraâs as he sat there frozen and unblinking, beer can still lifted to his lips yet he didnât dare take a single sip.
And Tomura, wellâŠ
Tomura knew the feeling.
âI just canât believeâŠâ you barely were able to get the words out, battling between the incessant urge to cry and laugh at the same time, chest beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen in your delirious and hysterical state. âI just canât believe that weâre alive⊠Weâre aliveâŠâ
Tomura swallowed hard, gulped down the past few hours and hoped the monster drowned in his stomach acid before it gained enough strength to crawl back up his throat. He uttered your nameâ a nervous, unsure set of syllables that felt wrong in his mouth, sounded wrong to your ears. But then Dabi started laughing, his sounding low and rough and downright sinful at the realization that, yes, youâd all made it back alive.
And there was still twenty thousand dollars to split between you. Six thousand each.
âYâknow what,â Dabi said, leaning forward and setting his beer down on the busted and scratched coffee table in front of the couch. âI think the three of us make a pretty alright team.â Both you and Tomuraâs gazes snapped his way, your laughter slowly fading until even the smile was wiped from your face.
Finally, Tomura said, âWe almost died back there.â
âWell then maybe you should be thanking me,â Dabi responded with a hint of cruelty mixed into his tone, still holding on tight to the grudge against the silver-haired boy for stepping in front of his stolen car. Though, at this point, it really wasnât even about that anymore, was it?
âWhat do you mean team?â you then cut in, feeling the tension between the two of them growing and hoping to defuse the situation before it erupted again. Even so, some sarcasm couldnât help but shine through your words, one of your eyebrows quirked up in some kind of dramatic confusion. âThe way I remember it, you wanted to leave us for dead on more than one occasion.â
âLook, Iâm not used to workinâ with other people, alright?â Dabi shot back, clearly feeling cornered now, both you and Tomura setting distrusting stares upon his inked skin and sapphire eyes. âSo, sorry if things didnât always go off without a hitchââ He leaned forward, tightening the huddle between you three. âBut what Iâm tryna say isâŠâ
Dabi took a moment to search your eyes, studying them, memorizing their color and the way they looked in the light versus the dark. Then he shifted his gaze to Tomura, whoâs bright scarlet was far less alluring. Dabi didnât know what you saw in himâ saw in his dry, cracked, scarred skin and all that shaggy silver hair that fell into his eyes. Because all Dabi saw was someone not worth the trouble. Someone who would bury himâ bury the both of youâ along with himself if he got the right chance.
Perhaps Tomura was a risk in all of this.
Perhaps Dabi would live to regret trusting him.
But Dabi knew that if he wanted youâ and he most certainly did want youâ then Tomura was going to have to be the stray that tagged along. At least, until he could think of a better way to get rid of himâŠ
âWhat Iâm tryna say is that I think the three of us could pull off some pretty decent jobs,â Dabi finally concluded.
You narrowed your eyes at him, thinking if you traced over the lines of his tattoos or dared to submerge yourself into the blue of his stare for long enough youâd figure out what angle he was working, what catch would be tacked on to the end of such an offer. Though, in your hesitation, Tomura seemed to have put some of the scattered pieces to this puzzle he could gather together in his own head. He held his stare with Dabi and asked, that raspy, dangerous darkness overtaking his tone as he lowered his voice and asked, âLike what?â
And that was it.
From that moment on, you were in, all three of you leaning in closer and closer to each other as Dabi detailed some robberies heâd been trying to planâ robberies that required more than one person who knew the streets like he did and would have each otherâs backs if things took a turnâ elaborating on the fact that they were mostly on his enemies, guys whoâd either wronged him in the past or would in the very near future if someone didnât remind them they werenât untouchable.
âBut thatâs just the warm up,â Dabi smirked, wearing that arrogant grin as he gave a half shrug, rolling his eyes a bit as if to say, childâs play. âI say we test out just how well we work together on these guys, then move onto something a little less pedestrian and more, sayâŠÂ Corporate.â
You thought of your view standing upon those rooftops, the heart of the city that youâd been cast out of so long ago shimmering in the distant summer heat. Close enough to dream of but still too far away to touch.
Dabi chuckled to himself then, posing the question, âI mean, what do we really have to lose?â
Youâd wondered that for a while now.
Maybe it was about time you found out.
For the remainder of the night, the three of you tunneled deeper and deeper into Dabiâs plans, exploring every nook and cranny of the scheme until you felt like enough of the holes had been filled and openings in the fences patched up. By the time the hands on the clock were beginning to run into the early hours of the next morning, your eyelids were growing too heavy for you to fight against anymore.Â
You were exhausted and both the boys saw it.
So Tomura took the envelope out of his pocket, counted out each of your shares, Dabi counting his twice just to make sure, and thus the alliance was set. After that, you guys called it quits for the day, got some rest and allowed yourselves to recharge before the first act of your ambitious new activities would commence. And as you fell asleep curled up close to Tomura on that narrow couch, half of your body draped over him and finding comfort in the slow rise and fall of his chest, Dabiâs words kept repeating in your head over and over, an endless, overlapping echo of, âWhat do we really have to lose?â
You found the answer just before slipping unconscious, you think, though by the time youâd wake up tomorrow youâd forget it.
What do we have to lose? Well, the only thing thatâs really ever been ours to begin with.
Our lives.
***
(Hello and thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please do check out the MV this fic is based on if you get the chance, itâs one Iâve loved since it came out all the way back in 2017, though perhaps you ought to wait until the fic is finished since itâs likely youâll be able to predict some spoilers haha.
Anyway, future chapters will feature more of the Dabi x Reader side of things so for those of you who prefer Dabi please be patient with me! Thereâs actually a scene thatâs been in my head for a while that Iâm really looking forward to writing when the time comes.
I originally planned to write this fic in three parts but given how much more involved it became the more I developed it, now it's likely going to end up being somewhere between five and ten depending. I'll probably end up breaking up the original "three parts" into slightly shorter (though still lengthy) chapters so I'm able to post updates more consistently throughout this year rather than only be able to put out one huge chapter every few years.
Anyway, I really appreciate everyoneâs patience and hope that you look forward to the next chapter. With that being said, Iâll see you soon!
Byyyyye~)
#again: please make sure to read the content warnings beforehand on this one!#boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia smut#boku no hero academia fanfiction#bnha#bnha dabi#bnha x reader#bnha fanfiction#dabi bnha#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#my hero academia#my hero academia fanfiction#my hero academia smut#mha x reader#mha x you#mha x y/n#mha dabi#dabi x reader#dabi mha#dabi x y/n#dabi x you#bnha tomura#mha tomura#tomura shigaraki#tomura mha#tomura bnha#tomura x reader#tomura x you#tomura x y/n
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Studying Language
Sorry I've been rather inactive, I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things!
This is something Iâm actually qualified to talk about! I speak three languages fluently, albeit in need of a little practise, and Iâm learning one more currently, with one on pause due to time constraints. Nevertheless, I feel pretty confident in my information lol. Iâm also a qualified TEFL teacher and have worked abroad teaching English!
Full immersion is the best option. The best thing you can do is spend your time in a country that speaks your target language and force yourself to learn, once you have the âHello,â âGoodbye,â âWhere is the bathroom?â all mastered. In Ireland, there are places called Gaeltachtanna where you go for different lengths of time depending on the course and live in a town speaking exclusively Irish, usually staying with an Irish-speaking family, and going to classes for the language and for games and dances. Of course, thatâs not an accesible option for everyone, so you could try going to places like your nearest Asian market, Eastern European market etc, and any areas in your city with a lot of immigrants that might speak your target language. If you have friends who speak that language, natively or just to a better level than you, ask to meet them for coffee and chat as much as you can in your language.
Immersion Part Two: Culture. The people who speak your target language natively do so not just becaus thatâs the place in which they exist, but because thatâs the place that they live- they get their groceries there, they go to school there, and their language developed because of the day-to-day, as well as unique aspects of their culture such as dances, music, and especially food. Learn about the culture of the country or countries that speak your target language. Eg, fold a paper crane or eat sushi if your language of choice is Japanese, watch an telenovela or go to a salsa class if your goal is to learn Spanish.
Watch TV shows in your Target Language. If you canât access the locations, and even if you can, watching TV or movies is great because itâll help you understand the cadences of natural speech that you canât get from a textbook or formal class situation. Start with movies you might be familiar with like Disney movies (I will die on the hill of âMother knows Bestâ from Tangled is better in Spanish). You can also combine your subtitles and audio, using subtitles in your own language at first, and challenge yourself to changing the subtitle.
Similar to the above points, use YouTube or Twitch to your advantage too. Thatâs probably a lot easier if your target language is English, but there are creators that speak in their non-English native language too. My friend watches a Mexican Minecraft YouTuber called Quackity who has a Minecraft server modded to feature a live translator between Spanish and English, which is very cool.
Read books in your Target Language. We donât love The Chronicles of the Boy Wizard in this house, but the books are available in 85 languages. The Hobbit also has a tonne including Cornish, Thai, and Ukranian, and Twilight has about 37 translations, just to list a few well-known examples. Learn especially about books written originally in your target language.
Consume Media Originally from the Country or Countries that Speak that Language. Read the Witcher, watch FĂsica o QuĂmica, join the dubbed vs subbed anime bloodbath. It can be so beneficial to your understanding of a language to see how those who speak it write it themselves, not just for localisation purposes. It can especially be useful for slang and dialects.
Duolingo and other apps. Iâm swiftly approaching my 365 day duolingo streak,* and I fully intend to celebrate with pierogis and a green cake. But there are other options out there, and all of them are great for beginners. I can only speak about Duolingo as its the one I use, but Iâm having a lot of fun with the layout of it. However, I do need real practice if Iâm going to become actually fluent.
Thatâs it! I hope this has been helpful!
*I've surpassed it since writing this!! I'm at 400+!!
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Winners of preliminaries !!
(PT: Winners of preliminaries)
This is just everyone that's going through to round 1.
Match 1 - 364 votes
Thistle (Dungeon Meshi) - 28.6%
Ray (Only Friends) - 24.5%
James Wilson (House MD) - 17.9%
Nagahiro Sakiguchi (Pretty Boy Detective Club) - 12.1%
Match 2 - 488 votes
Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII) - 54.1%
William James Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot) - 23.2%
Jake (Disventure Camp) - 7.4%
Juri (Vampire Dormitory) - 7%
Match 3 - 621 votes
Nagisa Shiota (Assassination Classroom) - 30.1%
Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis: Evangellion) - 21.4%
Yoosung (Mystic Messenger) - 16.7%
Atsushi Nakajima (Bungou Stray Dogs) - 14.7%
Match 4 - 210 votes
Lio Fotia (Promare) - 29%
Rantaro Amami (Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony) - 20%
Deidara (Naruto) - 17.1%
Duke (Nevermore) - 15.7%
Match 5 - 359 votes
Vash the Stampede (Trigun) - 22.3%
Griffith (Berserk) - 20.6%
Mithrun (Dungeon Meshi) - 20.1%
Alois Trancy (Black Butler) - 16.4%
Match 6 - 328 votes
Giorno Giovanna (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) - 21.6%
Ayan (The Eclipse) - 20.4%
Azul Ashengrotto (Twisted Wonderland) - 14.9%
Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan) - 14.6% (Original Poll), 51.6% (Decider)
Match 7 - 962 votes
Kurapika (Hunter x Hunter) - 30.7%
Akito Shinonome (Project Sekai) - 20.3%
Edgar (WOE.BEGONE) - 16%
Joke (Jack & Joker) - 14.2%
Match 8 - 365 votes
Wild Link (Legend of Zelda) - 38.4%
Wei Wuxian (The Untamed) - 31.2%
Yami Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh!) - 13.4%
Ryuunosuke Akutagawa (Bungou Stray Dogs) - 12.6%
Match 9 - 223 votes
Venti (Genshin Impact) - 39.9%
Kou Mukami (Diabolik Lovers) - 14.8%
Hyoma Chigiri (Blue Lock) - 13.9%
Jeffery (Class of '09) - 13.5%
Match 10 - 316 votes
Ai Di (Kiseki: Dear to Me) - 30.4%
Gandalf (Lord of the Rings) - 23.7%
Grusha (Pokemon) - 19.6%
Yami Bakura (Yu-Gi-Oh!) - 16.1%
Match 11 - 258 votes
Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler) - 34.1%
Luka (Alien Stage) - 22.5%
Louis James Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot) - 19.4%
Sousaku Yubiwa (Pretty Boy Detective Club) - 10.1%
Match 12 - 201 votes
Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs) - 34.3%
Seitarou Tanabata (Nanbaka) - 22.4%
Italy (Hetalia) - 20.4%
Shin (Nana) - 8% (Original Poll), 78.8% (Deciding)
Match 13 - 178 votes
Kaworu Nagisa (Neon Genesis: Evangellion) - 38.8%
Sephiran (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance/Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn) - 24.2%
Akoya Gero (Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!) - 14%
Samson/Sam (Stardew Valley) - 11.2%
Match 14 - 399 votes
Tamaki Suoh (Ouran High School Host Club) - 41.1%
Noriaki Kakyoin (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) - 18.3%
Naoto Shirogane (Persona 4) - 14.3%
Hitoshi Suguroku (Nanbaka) - 12.5%
Match 15 - 577 votes
Rui Kamishiro (Project Sekai) - 26.2%
Jambu (Wings of Fire) - 24.8%
Leon (Fire Emblem) - 22.9%
Mikoto Kayano (MILGRAM) - 13.5%
Match 16 - 473 votes
10th Doctor (Doctor Who) - 34.9%
Xiao (Genshin Impact) - 24.3%
Tsukasa Tenma (Project Sekai) - 18%
Yumoto Hakone (Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!)
Match 17 - 326 votes
Yuri Leclerc (Fire Emblem)/Jin Xiaobao (Meet You at the Blossom) - 27.6% (each)
Yoshikazu Miyano (Sasaki to Miyano) - 18.1%
Yamaguchi Tadashi (Haikyuu!!) - 12%
Match 18 - 222 votes
Tonkla (4 minutes) - 39.6%
Ryuu Zaou (Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!) - 27%
Iruma Suzuki (Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun!) - 17.6%
Carlos Rodriguez (High School Musical: The Musical: The Series) - 7.7%
Match 19 - 273 votes
Sou Hiyori (Your Turn to Die) - 27.8%
Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony) - 24.9%
Burgh (Pokemon)/Sebastian (Stardew Valley) - 14.3%
Match 20 - 354 votes
Sanji (One Piece) - 39.3%
Nagisa Hazuki (Free!) - 38.7%
Happy Chaos (Guilty Gear) - 15.5%
Sion Ulster (Wistoria: Wand and Sword) - 4%
Match 21 - 236 votes
James (Pokemon) - 41.1%
Neku Sakuraba (The World Ends With You) - 21.2%
Bill Cipher (Human) (Gravity Falls - Fandom) - 14%
Sousuke Mitsuba (Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun) - 10.2%
Match 22 - 199 votes
Lyney (Genshin Impact) - 34.2%
Orpheus (Hadestown) - 21.5%
Ulqiorra Cifer (Bleach) - 18.6%
Nero (Devil May Cry) - 10.1%
Match 23 - 619 votes
Glen (Nightmare on Elm Street) - 26.8%
Lilia Vanrouge (Twisted Wonderland) - 18.1%
Harley (Pokemon) - 16.8%
Ranpo Edogawa (Bungou Stray Dogs) - 14.4%
Match 24 - 553 votes
Kuzco (Emperor's New Groove) - 47.9%
Kaveh (Genshin Impact) - 16.3%
Great (4 minutes) - 15%
Battamonda (Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure) - 13.4%
Match 25 - 362 votes
Yuri Plisetsky (Yuri!!! On Ice) - 33.1%
Yue (Cardcaptor Sakura) - 23.2%
Boston (Only Friends) - 20.7%
Yosuke Hanamura (Persona 4) - 13.8%
Match 26 - 239 votes
Xie Lian (Heaven Official's Blessing) - 33.1%
Mello/Mihael Keehl (Death Note) - 27.6%
Mashiro Tsukiyuki (Bakuten!!) - 15%
Byakuya Togami (Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc) - 14.6%
Match 27 - 338 votes
The Onceler (The Lorax) - 49.4%
Dan Heng (Honkai Star Rail) - 23.1%
Vishnal (Rune Factory 4) - 9.8%
Nobimaru (Kemono Jihen) - 7.7%
Match 28 - 413 votes
Qifrey (Witch Hat Atelier) - 30%
Kabru (Dungeon Meshi) - 27.1%
9S (Nier Automata) - 17.2%
Nuengdiao (Never Let Me Go) - 12.1%
Match 29 - 323 votes
Rain (Love in the Air) - 33.4%
Scaramouche (Genshin Impact) - 22.9%
Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!) - 18.3%
Marik Ishtar (Yu-Gi-Oh!) - 13.9%
Match 30 - 321 votes
Babe (Pit Babe) - 33.3%
Izumi Sena (Love Stage!) - 23.1%
Affogato Cookie (Cookie Run: Kingdom) - 20.9%
Rosti Nauman (Wistoria: Wand and Sword) - 8.7%
Match 31 - 351 votes
Linhardt von Hevring (Fire Emblem) - 42.5%
Masaki Fujiyoshi (Tadaima Okaeri) - 16.2%
Kouha Ren (Magi) - 15.4%
Natsusa Yuzuki (number24) - 9.7%
Match 32 - 306 votes
Nagito Komaeda (Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair) - 23.2%
Goro Akechi (Persona 5) - 21.9%
vFlower (Vocaloid) - 15.7%
Light Yagami (Death Note) - 15%
Thank you for sticking through the preliminaries !! Hope you all enjoy round 1, and I'm so sorry if your blorbo didn't make it through.
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History of the Jingle Dress Dance
The Jingle Dress Dance began with the Mille Lacs Band of the Ojibwe Tribe in the early 1900s and became prevalent in the 1920s in Wisconsin and Minnesota (Great Lakes region) in the US and in Ontario, Canada.
The story is that the dress was first seen in a dream. A medicine manâs granddaughter grew sick, and as the man slept his Indian spirit guides came to him and told him to make a Jingle Dress for the little girl. They said if the child danced in it, the dress would heal her. The Jingle Dress was made, and the tribe came together to watch the child dance. At first, the child was too sick to dance alone so her tribe carried her, but after some time, the little girl was able to dance alone, cured of her sickness.
The dance has since been not only a ritual of healing but also one of pride.
What Do Jingle Dresses Look Like?
Jingle Dresses, also known as Prayer Dresses, are believed to bring healing to those who are sick. As mentioned above, the dance gets its name from the rows of ziibaaskaâiganan (metal cones) sewed to the dress. These cones are traditionally made from rolled snuff can lids and hung from the dress with ribbon close to one another, so they make a melodic sound as the girls and women dance. Traditionally, the dress is adorned with 365 visible jingles, or cones. Nowadays, these cones are often machine-made.
The dresses come in every color imaginable, from yellow to bright blue, to deep red, and accented with sparkles and even neon-colored fabrics. They are often made with shiny and sparkly materials and decorated with fringes, embroidery, beading, and more.
They usually have three-quarter length to full-length sleeves and come down to mid-calf or the ankle. They are secured at the waist with a thick belt, often made of brown leather. On their feet, the dancer wears decorative moccasins embellished with the same kind of detail found on their dresses.
What are the steps for the Jingle Dance?
As the ziibaaskaâiganan hit one another it sounds like rain falling, so itâs important for the dancer to be light on their feet, to move in time with the drum and stop when the beat stops. They keep their foot movements low to the ground while dancing, kicking their heels and bouncing on their toes to the music. Typically, this dance is done in a zigzag pattern, said to represent oneâs journey through lifeâor so the story goes. Often, they keep their hands on their hips, and if they are dancing with a feathered fan (full of neutral colors, like eagle feathers) as the more modern Jingle Dress Dancers do, they will raise it into the air as they dance to receive healing.
The traditional Indian dance involves low, soft-footed steps, as could be performed by those who were sick, while the modern competitive dancers push the boundaries some as they try to out-dance their competitors. The manner in which the dance has evolved has built firmly on its origin story.
What are the songs and music for Jingle Dance?
The music for this style of dancing has a foundation of a solid drumbeat, and of course, the metal cones make a loud jingling (hence the name) as the women move, which contributes to the music youâll hear at a Jingle Dress Dance. Jingle Dancers will usually dance to Northern drum groups. Special songs for Jingle Dance include a Side Step or Crow Hop
#jingle dance#jingle dress dance#jingle dress#crow hop#northern drum groups#Mille Lacs Band of the Ojibwe Tribe#ojibwe tribe#native heritage#dancing#wisconsin#minnesota#onterio#canada
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330: Clara Rockmore // Theremin
Theremin Clara Rockmore 1977, Delos (Bandcamp)
100 years since its invention, the theremin remains an oddity. It is in every respect an antiquated piece of technology, and yet like the Tesla coil and the plasma globe it still provokes the primal wonder of science-as-magic. The advancements of a modern synthesizer unit are hidden from the eyeâif you presented it to an unthawed person from the 19th century, they would at least be able to infer that the device is controlled using the buttons and keys. But the theremin player creates sound by coaxing an invisible magnetic field with their bare hands, as though they are pulling its warbling voice from the air itselfâand indeed, inventor LĂ©on Thereminâs artful original name for his instrument was the ĂŠtherphone.
youtube
To watch a performance by Clara Rockmore, the instrumentâs foremost practitioner, is to see something that resembles a scene from a sĂ©ance or a German Expressionist film. A petite, dark-haired woman with the eyes of an Orthodox Virgin Mary, she would stand ramrod straight behind the lectern-like theremin, nearly motionless save for the almost palsied-looking convulsions of her knotted hands and the tensing of her eyebrows, the only sign on her otherwise slack features of the intensity of her concentration. She looks as though she is forcing down the song attempting to leap from her throat until it screams through her fingertips like steam from a kettle. As synth pioneer Robert Moog explains in his liner notes to Rockmoreâs 1977 LP Theremin, her absolute stillness was not a theatrical device but a requirement of playing the instrument: the thereminâs magnetic field encompasses not only the performers hands but their entire upper body, meaning that even a minor motion of the head will influence the instrumentâs pitch. But the austere figure she cut no doubt contributed to her allure, the sense that she was herself as unearthly as the instrument she played.
Rockmore, a violin prodigy since age 5, took to Thereminâs invention sometime in the late 1920s. Her concerts popularized and legitimated the instrument, but it would be nearly a half-century before the Theremin LP, her first, was finally released. Produced by Shirleigh Moog and engineered by her husband Robert, one gets the sense that the Moogs are fans trying to correct an oversight, to record the album as it wouldâve sounded if it had been made her during her prime. The results are captivating, even haunting. At times you may be fooled into thinking youâre listening to a recording of a human soprano from some decayed shellac disc; in other moments, you will be moved by how world-weary an electronic tone can sound. Rockmore is accompanied, as she had been since the beginning, by her sister Nadia Reisenberg on piano, and her selections focus on 19th and early 20th century compositions, with a heavy emphasis on the Romantics. A majority of the pieces here come from her fellow Russians, including Tchaikovsky, Glazunov, Rachmaninoff, and Stravinsky. My personal favourite of these is her take on Joseph Achronâs âHebrew Melody.â Inspired by traditional laments, Rockmoreâs theremin evokes the sobbing characteristic (krekhts) of Jewish vocal music, while her sister thunders and pirouettes on her piano in a classically Romantic style.
Theremin stands apart from other electronic classical records like Wendy Carlosâ Switched-On Bach because it never sounds wholly like a novelty despite the thereminâs high camp potential (and, for that matter, Rockmoreâs). It is peculiar, and my fascination with it definitely originated in a perverse nostalgia for esoteric junkâbut the somber beauty of the sistersâ performance wiped the smirk from my face from virtually the moment I dropped the needle.
330/365
#clara rockmore#theremin#leon theremin#robert moog#moog#shirleigh moog#electronic music#early electronic#romantic music#'30s music#'70s music#classical music#nadia reisenberg#music review#vinyl record#mississippi records#joseph achron#tchaikovsky#rachmaninoff#glazunov#achron#stravinsky
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âž» LEGACYWRAPPED ( 2023 )
Happy New Year, LGC! So, turns out I just hit BK's 1 year as a muse! And not only that, this is also the first time since joining Legacy that I've been able to hold onto a muse this long ( in fact, since I've been roleplaying I don't think I've been able to stick to one character for more than maybe... 6 months? if even that tbh #flaky ). So to kind of ~ commemorate ~ the day, I threw together this edit to highlight BK's top 5 activities in 2023. I'm pretty proud of the dude seeing as how neither one of us really thought he would make it this far lkasdgsdg. Anywho, thanks to everyone I've plotted and written with this past year for making this a fun 365 and can't wait to dive into more shenanigans in 2024!
So, why these in the top 5*?
LGC Spring Boys â« First official project as a Legacy trainee! The entire experience was still a bit surreal, but he's grateful to have been chosen for the lineup. From filming their variety show to performing original songs, it made all the practice leading up to it worth while. ( He's also spent quite a few Sunday afternoons playing laser tag to get his aim up after that brutal loss on the show. He refuses to face a repeat in 2024!!! )
Debut Bootcamp â« Although BK wasn't selected to join any of the senior groups this round, he had the chance to really improve his dancing skills during the training intensives and see what it truly takes to be considered debut-ready. And he enjoyed it SO much more than running around some boat with babes and sneaking into the waterbomb festival last summer. Honestly, he did. Seriously. Really -
LGC Family Concert 2K23 â« First family concert where he wasn't just another trainee in the crowd. Spring Boys' "Hot" performance was most definitely his favorite this year. Report and flag every video uploaded of him doing aegyo on stage during the finale please and thank you!
LGC Studios â« Appeared on @lgcxnoeul's Legacy Hall and @lgcseojin's Noraebattle! Variety is something he's grown to love over the past year, and there's nothing better than being able to goof off with your bros during work hours. He might even consider hosting his own show one day, who knows.
PASSION5 â« Who knew drawing some shades on a gingerbread house would lead to him ending the year with his first modeling contract? For the longest Byeongkwan was pretty vocal about his disinterest, but this collaboration has really helped warm him up to the idea of taking on more endorsements in the future - and loading up on those tasty pastries! That he... didn't taste test.. before filming - ( don't tell tell the staff @lgchayoung ).
2023 was fun! Same time next year?
*Honorable mention to the legacy musical since "those knight costumes were fire."
#( headcanon. )#( HAPPY ( late ) NEW YEAR EVERYONE )#( technically BK's legit lgc acceptance date was yesterday but I've been slump the past few days so it's fine adsljkdg )
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It's More Fun in the Philippines
Mga Kababayan... TURN UP!
Mabuhay, Madlang People!
Ako'y iyong host para sa pagdiriwang natin ngayon, Alfi, mula sa Perlas ng Silanganan, Pilipinas! [I'm your host for this event, Alfi hailing from the Pearl of the Orient, Philippines.]
Tinatawag ko ang atensyon ng aking mga kababayan upang makisama sa kasiyahan. Handa na ba kayong matuklasan ang kanilang mga gawa? [I'm calling for the attention of my fellow people to join in the fun. Are you ready to see their works?]
Iwagayway na ang bandera! Rock en' roll hanggang umaga!
Rules:
Alam na. [You already know.] This is to celebrate Pinoy pride. Wag muna natin isipin ang ating mga problema at magsaya. [Let's stop thinking about our problems first and enjoy.] Anything Pinoy from food, songs, and culture(pop or not), we just have to share it.
Actually, no matter who you are if you have knowledge of our culture you can join in. Just be sure you're above 18.
Fandoms: Bungou Stray Dogs, My Hero Academia, Tokyo Revengers, Jujutsu Kaisen, Honkai Star Rail, Haikyuu, Genshin
Artwork and/or written. SFW, NSFW, DC. Any genre (fluff, angst, crack, etc. Please tag appropriately.
No word limit for written works but please use the keep reading/readmore function when it exceeds 500 words
You can only apply for one(1) character per fandom. First come, first serve. I will only allow two(2) works for one character with both art and written counted.
I'll be having categories for this just send in an ask if you want to join: Galerya, Konsiyerto, Kainan.
Galerya will showcase artworks and other nonwritten works.
Konsiyerto will exhibit written works [both with and without song prompts]
Kainan will feature both works centred around food.
Format: Have a brief description of what the centre of your work is. (e.g. Adobo - one of the most common dishes in the Philippines, etc.) If you're going to use a song prompt, strictly use original Pilipino music (OPM) and Filipino artists. *ahem* Bruno Mars *ahem* Songs sung in English are okay. Please credit the artist. Songs cannot be repeated.
Deadline: August (in celebration of "Buwan ng Wika") but really within this year. Pinoy pride 24/7/365. Later submissions can be moved to next year's event (planning to make this yearly đ€đœ hopefully)
Send an ask if you wish to join. You can only DM me for changes and updates in your work/s. Tag me @his-saiko when your work is done and use the hashtag '#iwagayway ang bandera đ”đ' and I will reblog and link your work on the masterlist.
Masterlist
*NSFW/DC content will be marked as đ¶
Galerya
Konsiyerto
@his-saiko - Ikaw Lamang (Draken Ryuguji)
Kainan
© 2023 Alfi. Do not replicate. Reblog to motivate.
#iwagayway ang bandera đ”đ#bungo stray dogs x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#bnha x you#bnha x reader#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo rev x y/n#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#genshin x reader#genshin x you
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Brat: hyperpop has come to save us (and make us go to raves)
Charli XCX, with more than a decade in the music industry, has put her efforts into breaking the traditional patterns of mainstream pop, and her latest studio album was no exception. And that's how at the beginning of this year she announced âBratâ: âI was born to make dance music⊠I come from the clubs⊠XCX6 is the album I always wanted to make.â
Brat is an homage to Charli's musical roots as a teenager, with sounds she usually heard at underground raves that make you feel the need to dance. Charli not only honored her influences to create a current and futuristic album, but she also demonstrated how blurred the boundaries between alternative and mainstream are, and that even so, very original, fresh and authentic songs can be made. The sounds of âClub Classicsâ, âVon Dutchâ, â365â are clear examples of this, songs that will become anthems and essential in clubs and techno discos.
Furthermore, Charli proves once again that it is not necessary to have the best voice and reach the highest notes to succeed musically and be considered a âgeniusâ, you just need to make avant-garde and original music. The British artist has taken the lead in the hyperpop genre, because in recent years she has taken risks in her music and is not afraid to be experimental and push limits.
And beyond the sound of the album, Brat contains lyrics without fear of criticism and being labeled as individualistic or self-centered. Charli is very honest about her feelings as a woman, friend, young adult and singer, speaking without metaphors or limits about fame, envy in the music industry, girlhood, passing loves, insecurities, among other personal topics. Among the tracks, âGirl, so confusingâ, âMean girlsâ, âSimpathy is a knifeâ and âRewindâ stand out in her lyrics.
Without a doubt, Brat is an album that everyone should listen to, whether to just dance, have an ego boost, or enjoy an avant-garde, experimental album with honest lyrics about what it means to be a woman, have internal and external conflicts and not punish yourself for that.
Trinidad GonzĂĄlez C.
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THINGS TO DO: LETâS EXPLORE NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA!
New Orleans is a Louisiana city on the Mississippi River, near the Gulf of Mexico. Nicknamed the "Big Easy," it's known for its round-the-clock nightlife, vibrant live-music scene and spicy, singular cuisine reflecting its history as a melting pot of French, African and American cultures. Embodying its festive spirit is Mardi Gras, the late-winter carnival famed for raucous costumed parades and street parties.Â
Explore the Historic French Quarter
The French Quarter is always a must-do, any time of year. As the cityâs oldest neighborhood, the Vieux Carre is packed with gorgeous architecture, loads of history, a wealth of food and music, and a cast of characters including long-time residents, chatty tour guides, and talented street performers
Take a History Tour of the Garden District
Upriver from the French Quarter lies the Garden District. Take a tour of this neighborhoodâs grand mansions and historic cemeteries. The houses and history are a draw, but the neighborhood also offers a wealth of shops and cafes, as well as Commanderâs Palace, one of New Orleansâ best restaurants.
Relax at the New Orleans City Park & Art Museum
New Orleans City Park offers a lovely respite from the city and is a great place to spend an afternoon, according to recent visitors. Take a nature stroll through the 10-acre New Orleans Botanical Garden (which boasts 2,000 different varieties of plants) or peruse the art hanging in the adjacent New Orleans Museum of Art.
Tour the New Orleans Jazz Museum
It's only logical for New Orleans to be home to a jazz museum, for this is the city where the musical genre was born. At this comprehensive repository of artifacts from the very beginning of the 20th century, you'll see and hear the history of jazz. The museum also presents more than 365 concerts a year and hosts educational programs on the city's legends, from Louis Armstrong to Al Hirt, Louis Prima and more.
Catch a Ride on the Algiers Ferry
Hop aboard the historic Algiers Ferry to feel the power of the Mississippi firsthand. The short ride on this commuter ferry will give you an amazing view of the city and a few minutes to be one with the river.
See the City on the Streetcars
New Orleansâ streetcar system has been rolling since 1835. While you can no longer ride the Desire line made famous by Tennessee Williams, the existing lines offer a great way to see the city. The newer red streetcars run out to Mid-City, while the older, original green cars take you down historic St. Charles Avenue, past beautiful houses in the famed Garden District and Audubon Park.
Cool-off at the Aubodon Zoo
Spend an afternoon at one of the top zoos in the country. The Audubon Zoo has world-class exhibits featuring animals from Asia, Africa, and South America. Youâll also see seals, reptiles, and a glimpse of the Louisiana swamp. Located behind Audubon Park, the zoo is dotted with majestic oak trees (keep an eye out for resident peacocks). In the summer, the Cool Zoo water park offers a respite from the heat.
Get Classic New Orleans Fair at Cafe Du Monde
The Original Cafe Du Monde Coffee Stand was established in 1862 in the New Orleans French Market. From beignets to café au lait, Café Du Monde is a New Orleans tradition.
Shop the French Market at the Colonnade
The French Market is a market and series of commercial buildings spanning six blocks in the French Quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana. It is one of the oldest trading posts in the US. Get your milk, bread,and  eggs, along with unique souvenirs.Â
Check out Faulkner Books
Faulkner House Books is located in the heart of New Orleansâ beautiful and historic French Quarter, just off Jackson Square, behind the Cabildo and opposite St. Louis Cathedralâs rear garden. Founded in 1988 by attorney Joseph J. DeSalvo Jr. and his wife Rosemary James, Faulkner House Books is a sanctuary for fine literature and rare editions, including, of course, books by and about Mr. Faulkner.
Get Adventurous with the Swamp Kayak Tour
The Manchac Swamp tour is a secluded, calm, and pristine tour. If you are searching for a gorgeous, natural, and picturesque kayak swamp tour â this is your tour! Deep in New Orleans bordering swamps enjoy calm waters with maybe the occasional wildlife spotting.
Join a Alligator Tour
Jean Lafitte Swamp Tours is located just 15 minutes from New Orleans and offers swamp and airboat tours of Louisiana's back country. They guarantee you will get upclose with the swampâs best residents, alligators.
Dare Yourself with the Voodoo Mystery and Paranormal Tour
This New Orleans voodoo and mystery tour takes you into the Big Easy's history of vampirism, occult activity, paranormal occurrences and even piracy. Hear tales of haunted buildings, lost treasure and documented sightings of ghosts and vampires as you explore. Use of pro ghost-hunting equipment is also included.
Get in on a Pub Crawl
Explore the famous Magazine street pubs and bars with this one of a kind pub crawl. Come with your walking shoes and an excitement for the nightlife. Open 7 days a week.
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2023 Album A Day: Day 91/365
Running With Scissors âą âWeird Alâ Yankovic
Favorite Track: Albuquerque
Thoughts: Itâs hard to choose an âessentialâ Weird Al album for a project like this. By nature, his work is tethered to the cultural landscape of the point in time heâs working in. Your enjoyment of Weird Al is likely tied to your feelings about pop music throughout the years and how Weird Al poked fun at the artists you love. Some of his greatest hits have been able to transcend the very songs he parodied, to the point that I am surprised to hear the original artistâs voice for a handful of songs that Weird Al has gotten his hands on. His pastiches are where Weird Al really gets to flex his musical ability; Yankovic and his band are so good at creating original songs that sound identical to the work of other bands and musicians in terms of instrumentation and production, and then juxtapose it against Yankovicâs absurd lyrics and cartoonish vocal delivery. Frequently imitated but very rarely duplicated, Weird Alâs success comes not only from his oddball performance and comedic lyrics, but also from the strong musical foundation and discipline that he builds his work upon.
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day 27/365 of haechan <3
my sunflower journey!
so I 'discovered' NCT on wattpad in 2017 (of all places) through fan fics (can't remember the author or the name) but originally I had been reading this particular author's exo fics and wanted more so then I read their mark, jaehyun and taeyong fics
and being a person who's interest was now held, i went through their music and their contents. i tried to find a 'temporary bias' (like the one i kind of hold onto before getting into the group) but none quite stuck. i did like them though. but because i was into other groups more, i just left it at that.
and then at the end of the year i saw jaemin and thought he was cute. learnt that he had been on hiatus for awhile and had just come back fairly recently. again, left it at that.
i'll be honest, i thought whoever styled nct in their early days needed to re-evaluate themselves quick or get serious help/get fired. either or.
NOW 2018 CHANGED THE GAME. i was exploring the kind of groups i liked and new songs and games and content and it was seriously so fun. and in my irl it wasn't exactly the best time for me.
so i looked into nct again, this time without making the fuss about a temporary bias and boss had come out. i was watching more of their content and their weekly idol 2018, i was very into them. was learning their names and trying to find that 'bias connection'.
found it in haechan, didn't quite know him yet but i thought he was funny and cute (an opinion that still hasn't changed) but he wasn't my bias yet.
stop! wait : for context i was really interested in the whole 'extra member' / 'make your own celebrity from the industry' (which i kind of still am but kind of different? idk how to explain)
anyway, i was watching idol imagines on yt and found a really good jaemin one. and then looked to see anymore - oop there's one of haechan. seriously good.
and i thought! wow - what if haechan was like 'bestie' or 'platonic' best friend. and i adored him that year in exactly the same way. watched things again and realised i had found a bias and i really adored him. it was also amazing to me that i biased someone my age? instead of someone older than me? and i became a sunflower on his birthday.
absolutely sick. will be rinsing that fact into the ground.
though i have to point out i wasn't quite the 'sunflower' like i am now. i had other ults but he was quickly becoming a heart favourite. he became my 'neon boy' in my notes (i wonder if i still have it) but i liked his mischievous tendencies. and at that point i had a pastel boy, a monochrome boy and a neon boy.
but when simon says came out? he absolutely blew me away and i got more and more into them and their stylist either got replaced or shaped up. thank fuck. never want to see that haircut on him again, just saying.
we go up too? i was praising his ancestors and all that came before him.
2019 was relatively calm but such good music. i got a new ult group that year and that was exciting and i brought my first album and then joined a nz nctzen group and they were holding a go for arguably one of my favourite kpop albums ever.
i only really asked for haechan and that was practically all i got and i was through the moon. i'd never forget it.
see haechan in boom was a cultural reset for me and i'm forever in remembrance of the era. i was also learning more about him, but more so in the way that kpop profiles or youtube guides wouldn't tell ya...like the shit you pick up on yourself. not too much. little by little.
also the highway to heaven video - yum. just yum. and what he says? oh my god he's got me blushing.
in 2019, i started seeing him as a guy. but let me also set a very dangerous scene - in 2019, i started ulting a rookie group and my monochrome boy was enlisting. so i reflected on my three 'ult' biases and i realised that monochrome boy was more my thing over pastel boy. but i couldn't quite drop the wild card.
2020 - ridin' came out and that was fucking a-1, but i think i was very on him then.
i remembered someone said to me, okay but there can't be that many members and you only having just one bias? or like...do you have a bias wrecker at least? my answer was no. like, there's been nobody that has 'wrecked' his position as my bias.
do i appreciate the other boys? heck yes. i have a penchant for a lot of the dreamies (they're similar in age to me) and the rest. like they're equal to me.
haechan though? definite bias, definite favouritism. definite top.
my monochrome boy was still in the military at that point and wouldn't return till my birthday in 2021 and i was like hmm pick an ult. and i always juggled between them.
but when i moved into my new flat in 2021, i realised that i had probably chosen haechan when all i could talk about was him. and monochrome boy i love but haechan was just completely in my face. he was everywhere and i wanted him to be everywhere.
and it continued like that, my flatmate would rub haechan in my face when she was just as obsessed with her kpop boy.
and i don't quite know when the switch from 'healthy' to 'unhinged' attachment to my kpop boy happened or where it came from. but like he's basically the only idol ever with the exception of sunwoo on twitter.
i'm on every sunflower page that i can understand and some sunnyside egg suburban mums and some eccentric teenager from the country keep actually putting photos of the actual sunflower in the group. pretty sure they're bots at this point because they never interact with each other and they don't read the 'you know this is for lee haechan right?' posts that come up once every fortnight.
and like i've always been protective of him but now i'm protective.
like if anyone shits on him or things anything remotely disagreeable about him. i don't want to know. and i don't like you. don't talk to me. you're wrong.
and i think because some of my irls know now, i don't have to calm down. and i've gotten the green light from them. so i think that's enough for me.
and here we have it, niwa the sunflower. my personality trait. this bloody took a whole hour and i was considering bullet pointing. of all things.
anyway haechan ily.
Okay okay wait now I wanna share mine w you too. Okay so I got into tumblr after having my baby bc I was staying up late at night and had nothing to do so I started smauâs after reading a couple and I was HEAVILY into enhypen at the time and I met some amazing people (one in particular ((she knows who she is)) and I got close) would RAVE about Jeno and our mutual friend at the time would rave about jisung
I have a tendency to tunnel vision on one or a few particular groups so I wasnât interest in nct other than I knew Simon says and cherry bomb and chewing gum and that was it.
WELL. favorite era hit and I was đ€° jungwoo tunnel visioned and I was really getting into nct 127 and ngl hyuck was the last person on my mind. I was more interested in the older members than mark and Haechan and I kept it as that UNTIL THEY WENT INTO UNIVERSE era and I was still familiar w wayv and started to get more into them than the dreamies and I was really becoming Yangyang and xiaojun biased
So the universe mv really had me on my knees bc jungwoo w pink hair đ€but this is where hyuck started to catch my eye. I then started to do some research and found out through this particular angel that mark and hyuck were in diff units as well and I listened to the universe album and CRIED listening to beautiful for the first time
Fast forward I started poking around w dream when the glitch mode era hit and gawd damn lemme tell you HAECHAN DID NOT LEAVE CRUMBS
Him on the arcade stage REALLY had me swooning and Jaemin was really running laps in my head at the time also so again, hyuck wasnât my first priority. So Iâm going through the dreamies old songs and I fucking hit hot sauce and hyuck had me in a chokehold
So then I jump to hello future and yk the beginning where they throw the stuff up around him,, yeah that did it for me đ THEN I WENT BACK TO RIDIN AND I WAS ON MY KNEES LIKE A SLIP AND SLIDE
and I was just so mesmerized by his laugh, the way he smiles, his constant teasing w his friends and the love he has in his eyes and everything he does. Heâs captivating and enticing and unpredictable and I love everything about him from the top of his sweet little head to every mole he has on his body.
And theN I GOT FUCKING DELULU AND EVERYONE FED INTO IT AND NOW I HAVE ALL THESE AMAZING FRIENDS BC MY HYUCKBRAINROT WAS STRONG đđ«¶
#so proud to be a sunflower#niwa my little sunflower đ„č#lilacâs moots đ„ł#hyuckbrainrot đ§ââïžđ§ #i just love hyuck
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Day 20: Colin O' Donoghue
This was from 2011 to 2018âŠit was alright, as it twisted the original story to be different.
More notes in Keep Reading.
Read thisâŠ
Once Upon a Time is an ABC television series that involves characters from familiar works of fiction, including Peter Pan. Colin O'Donoghue was a series regular in the role of Hook, who originated as Killian Jones. Freya Tingley first played Wendy in the 21st episode of the second season and continued playing the role in a few episodes toward the end of Season 3A. Robbie Kay played the main villain role during Season 3A as Peter Pan, portrayed in the series as the father of Rumpelstiltskin, and reprised his role in a couple episodes during Season 5B and the second-to-last episode of the overall show. Rose McIver played Tinker Bell during the majority of Season 3A, then one episode during Season 3B, and one during Season 6. Characters and locations from the Peter Pan story are featured in Once Upon a Time (2011âpresent). It is revealed that Pan (Robbie Kay) is the father of Rumpelstiltskin (Robert Carlyle) who became young again after giving up a then-young Rumpelstiltskin.
Also a link to that one weird musical episodeâŠ
youtube
This is mentioned in my @music-meme-of-365-days.
And also a link to the first season on YoutubeâŠ
Colin O' Donoghue plays a dashing version of HookâŠ
The only thing that is correct is the right-handed Hook and his eye color of blue. But his hair is short and in truth, Captain Hook of the book would never wear such an outfit. He is portrayed as a naval officer in the beginning but turns into a pirate after his brother's death.
#right-handed hook#2011 to 2018 for tv show#Colin O'Donoghue#Killian Jones#Once Upon A Time#Youtube#Spotify#Captain James Hook
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